So what do you do in this situation (female imput appreciated)?

[m0chi69]

heh - newgirl was the only woman who replied and you asked for female input. i guess more guys on this board are in touch with their feminine side than you realized

btw... i expect that my future spouse and i will be paying for our own weddings - don't expect parents of either side to pay anything - and more likely than not, i'll probably end up eloping - sorry to be of no help

[dreamgirl]

I did the big wedding

Hi. You sound like you are worried about things that might not even happen. After you get engaged, sit down with everyone separately and ask them if they are going to contribute any money for the wedding. They might also offer to pay for specific things (ex-flowers). But you gave everyone the chance to help pay, even ask your mom, maybe she'd like to make little take home gifts at the table. Even if people make things for you everything will help. Plus they feel like they have really contributed to your day.

I dont agree that it's the brides parents 100%, because most of the weddings I've gone to everyone has paid for it even the couple.

My parents paid for about 98% of my own wedding. My husbands parents didn't offer any extra money which made me feel like they were being really cheap. My parents paid about $22,000 and they paid an extra $3000. It's like thanks but no thanks! It still bothers me to this day. If I ever have a son I want to really give him a lot so I don't get looked at this way.

Weddings are a pain, but it's a wonderful memory, you only get 2 big parties in life--your wedding and your funeral... if you don't have a big wedding you will miss out on both!

[Kristylynn]

Plan the wedding just the way you two wish, that is a special day just for the two of you, if someone does not like it that is to bad, that is being selfish! In my opinion, I think that your parents should make a speech together, separated/divorced or not. If there is no bad blood that shouldn't be a problem.

[pudgy]

either that or take the money