Simple Everyday Helpful Tips

[morbid316]

Helpful Hint #1
If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply
pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and hey
presto!
The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Helpful Hint #2
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables
by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away

Helpful Hint #3
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it
on.

Helpful Hint #4
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish
bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.

Helpful Hint #5
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps
makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.

Helpful Hint #6
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet
seat by simply pissing in the sink.

Helpful Hint #7
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and
bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your
veins.

Helpful Hint #8
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will
prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep

[rado]

#7 is for alot of us on here...funny

[crombie09]

will # 4 work, my little bro has some fish! haahahaha-crombie09