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Probably shouldn't be in this thread since I am not a father, but... I feel it comes from both sides. We question weather the other parent thinks we are a good father, or mother. The bottom line is that "we" as that person feel good about who we are as their parent. When we start comparing each other, it becomes about us and not our child anymore. The good parent bad parent thing is the same as black and white thinking. Sounds like you spend good time with your son and that is important.
As far as the fairytale after separation, I have seen that to with any couples. I imagine it took time to get to that place?
You know us guys Baby1 and we know you are a parent as well. So of course you are welcome to post your thoughts in this thread. I will rename the thread "Fathers ?? (& Baby1)" lol
I reckon she likes me OK as she is still with me after 27 years and 20 years of parenthood. I am many things some good some bad but i know I am a pretty damn good dad.
before men are fathers their just men. men who do what they do and some should be and others have no place in being fathers. i myself never had children of my own however i raised two step kids who like myself where raised without a father.. unfortunatly now my step daughter has a daughter herself whos true father is not in the picture BUT.. none of this is bad. people are just people and we do with what we have.
eventually i got to really spend time with my father and thank my mother everyday that she got me away from that guy.. the stepkids met there real father hes a real piece of work.. they to are happy hes not around.
there is no loss with out some fathers and in some cases guys who dont have kids make out to be pretty decent dads... just saying..
doing the best you can with what you have is all you can do..
I admire good parenting. I always wanted to have kids but never seemed to meet the right kind of girl to be the mother of my kids. I was too busy dating bad girls so I was always careful not to get them pregnant lol Thats why I dont have kids
The wife hates me! All seriousness.
Things changed after our last child. Its been 5yrs. No matter what I do. No matter how I work,no matter what i give, it will never be good enough. For anything.
The wife hates me! All seriousness.
Things changed after our last child. Its been 5yrs. No matter what I do. No matter how I work,no matter what i give, it will never be good enough. For anything.
Something changed after our last child.
Went through post partum but wouldnt get help... Then it took an effect on her she ended up with lupus. Think it was to much on her body... But ever since the post partum.. Its been that way..
I feel bad for her, and dont want nothing to happen to her. She doesnt work outside the home. She has never really had to.
I know if we would seperate i couldnt take care of the kids and work the swing shifts i do and be there as much as i would need to be. We struggle now. My eldest son doesnt work do to his back and cyst. So i take care of a family of eight. No other money comes in the house except through me. My son is soon to be 21. I feel bad for him i really do. But if he can stay up all night and go to his friends and stay gone all weekend from friday til monday. He can work a sit down job. Anything helps.. But i know this will never happen now. She wont allow it.
All i do is work. My kids range from 5-20.
Why do you think i work so many jobs on the forums. life is relentless, ive let my own injuries go for family issues and appointments. Im never what is important.
I think im just expected to do whatever it takes, whenever it take, know matter what position it puts me in or how hard it makes it on me. Im def not appreciated..
Everything i do is because of the person i am and i feel responsible for the kids and think things will be harder for them and her if i leave. They would be easier on me. I would give less money than i do know. The question i ask myself is what kinda life would they have if i left... So i cant do that to them.
May i add she has premenstrual dysphoria.
About 7-10days before that time of the month. A change happens. And she truly utterly hates everything about me like im the cause of everything unholy in the world. Its absolutely crazy. Then if im lucky, not always.. but sometimes right after her period she is the most loving, affectionate person who wanta to be around me and close . Just like before this all began.. But normally life sucks.. If it wasnt for here and feeling like i have family and friends here. Id probable go insain.
May i add she has premenstrual dysphoria.
About 7-10days before that time of the month. A change happens. And she truly utterly hates everything about me like im the cause of everything unholy in the world. Its absolutely crazy. Then if im lucky, not always.. but sometimes right after her period she is the most loving, affectionate person who wanta to be around me and close . Just like before this all began.. But normally life sucks.. If it wasnt for here and feeling like i have family and friends here. Id probable go insain.
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I admire the hell out of you for putting up with a crazy wife because you know that leaving her would be harsh for the kids. Ive seen women who have that premenstrual psychotic behavior. One girl her whole face looks completely different. Like she becomes a different person. Everything under the sun just pisses her off to no end. Then a week later she is as sweet as they come. scary
Her: "Just a warning: Im starting my period"
Me: "Thank you"
lol
Your killing me.... Cuz i can tell... And honestly it's not her fault. I think having our last child was to much on her. It really changed her hormones. But if i say to her " its almost time isnt it" oh my GOD. She will really let me have it...
Im not a saint. Im not the best husband or father. Early on we did alot. with her and the kids. As we had more children i had to work more, after so many kids a car doesnt cut it. Then you need a sMall suv. Then we had to get a full size or van. Then we had some bad luck. Work cut my ot, my pay dropped the first yr about 10k then the next yr 25k. We ended up losing the house we were living in. Have been with family about 3yrs.
For many years all i did was work. I had that option. So no matter how many bills or what my family needed i just did it and we were ok.
Once the overtime was taken away from me. There were no options to make things happen.
So i guess im really to blame for everything. At one point i was talking to an old friend on line who was into working out ant health and fitness. We were suppose to meeet up one day and do some hr long intense class . dont remember what it was called. Littlw did i know my wife was stalking my facebook and reading all my convos. I wasnt hiding anything or doing anything wrong. It was odd my wife kept pushing me to go one day when i was suppose to meet up with her at the gym. I didnt plan on going. Well my wife talked me into it almost pushed me out the door. So on thE way there i pulled over in a church parking lot and messaged i couldnt make it and messaged my wife i was to tired and didnt feel like going i was coming back And went home. She told everyone i was cheating on her and was at my parents when i got back. Was only gone maybe 40minutes total.
Never even Seen my friend. Hadnt seen her in over 20yrs.
My wife began messaging her. .that we are happily married stop talking to me.etc..
Mean while nothing was going on and what my wife was saying was not true. My wife had nothing to do with me Ever...
I was kicked outta the house for a week.
Then things were different for a few months. She was loving, acted interested in me ,But it didn't last long. I was told if O could go to the gym she was gonma start going out. And went right back to what you see now.
Any way i could go on an on. I better stop now.
Life isnt it grand
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.... Anyway i could go on for pages. I better stop here.
There’s not enough room here to respond to this...my oldest two, their mom and I are and have been excellent...my little guys Mom...I will leave it all blank and you can fill it in...
MY BM LEAVES ME BE WITH ONLY A FEW DIGS A WEEK. AS LONG AS I PAY. WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO KEEP ME OUT I FUCK THEM UP. I DID THE SAME WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S KID BUT I AM NOT THAT SAME PERSON. I JUST WANT MY BOY GOOD. THIS BEING A FATHER SHIT I DIDNT ASK FOR BUT IT'S ON ME. AND I AM TRYING WITH THE ONLY WAYS I KNOW HOW.
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life is relentless, ive let my own injuries go for family issues and appointments. Im never what is important.
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