i heard a noise outside. i grabbed my pistol and a flashlight. snuck around the back of my house and illuminated where the noise was coming from. there was a girl bent over my AC unit on the side of my house with a boy pegging her from behind and another boy standing about 5 feet away whacking off.

i assume they were pretty scared to see and angry man woke up out of a sleep to find some kids (probably 14 or 15) having sex on the side of my house with a flashlight and a gun.

the girl pulled up her britches the boys both stood there swaying without moving eyes wide. there were several beer bottles on the ground and both boys pants. i simply told them to get lost and dispose of their beer bottles.


the boy who was whacking picked up the bottles and threw them in the trash. i told him to get them back out and put them in the recycle bin. i asked him if he recycled at home and recommended he start and told him about the virtues for the environment(he did not respond to my question). they apologized and wandered off into the night. i wanted to tell the girl to have some self respect but i did not. if her parents didn't care enough to instill those values a stranger with a gun certainly wont.

it was then i realized the boys still had not put on their pants and were stumbling off with their jeans in their hands. i assume to find another AC unit to defile.

i went inside and went right to sleep after washing my feet (i stepped in something wet and of course it was most likely from my neighbors AC but my mind went crazy with bodily fluid possibilities)