FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE A FORD





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WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?











To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop.





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WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIGHWAYS?





So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.





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HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD?





You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!





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FORD ACRONYMS:





Fix Or Repair Daily





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Found On Road Dead





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Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot





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Factory Ordered Road Disaster





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Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge(Datsun)





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Flip Over Read Directions





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Four Old Rusted Doors





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Fixed On Race Day





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Ford Owner Really Dumb





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For Only Retarded Drivers





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Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse - French for ordinary fabrication expensive repairs.





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Ford Owners Recommend Dodge





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Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy





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Found On Russian Dump





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For Off Road Death





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it Freaking Only Runs Downhill





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Fat Old Rusted Dog





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Freaking Old Rusted Dodge(Datsun)





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Frigin Oakies Really Dig it





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Funky Old Road Dog





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Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty





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PINTO ACRONYMS:





Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook





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LINE FROM A SONG SUNG BY A FAMOUS COUNTRY SINGER





"I wanta buy me a Ford truck and push it up and down the road."





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ONE WORD:





Pinto





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This is Chevy country and on a quiet night you can hear a Ford rust...





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A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a





lollypop."





The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and





I'll give





you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in





with





me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU





bought





the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"





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Ashes to ashes,





dust to dust.





If it wasn't for our Fords,





our tools would rust.





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This is your brain "CHEVY", this is your brain on drugs "FORD"





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Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.





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Have you driven over a Ford lately?





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Ford trucks the worst always rest





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I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.





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Do you know that Ford has admitted they are expensive and unreliable? That new commercial they are





running says so! When Alan Jackson says "If I had me some money" he admits he can't afford





one, and





when he adds that he'd "buy a Ford truck or two" it because he needs a spare.





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Next time some Fordatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them that anything could be





fast if a





team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enough to run a race before needing





another





weeks work.





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WHY ARE THE NEW FORD TRUCKS MORE AERODYNAMIC?





So they will save the Chevy gas when the Chevy tows them away.





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WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO FAR IN DEBT?





Because the President drives a Ford





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WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?





Would you like a tow home?





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HOW CAN THEY APPROVE THE NEW FORD TRUCK?





Put a Chevy engine in it.





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HOW MUCH WOOD CAN A FORD TRUCK HAUL IF A FORD TRUCK COULD HAUL





WOOD?





As much as the Chevrolet tow truck in front of it.





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WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?





A ford thunderturd





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SPEED KILLS,





DRIVE A FORD,





LIVE FOR EVER...





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HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?





Fill it with gas!





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The Ford Escort. Otherwise known as The Ford Escort Me To A Chevy ******!





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Have You Out Driven a Ford Lately?





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Ford is just another four letter word!





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The Ford Ranger, Otherwise know as the Ford Danger!





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The Ford Explorer, Otherwise know as the Ford Exploder!