Reply With QuoteTweetso i'm guessing you're a big fan of the crack pipe?
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Why change your car's oil when your girlfriend can do it?
TweetWhy change your car's oil when your girlfriend can do it?
So I was sitting there the other day watching my girlfriend change the oil in my car, and I was getting pissed because she kept struggling when she tried to unscrew the filter. I was even more pissed than usual because I was playing videogames as I supervised her from inside the house, until I finally had to put the controller down and go outside to yell at her.
I stood out there in my underwear on a Saturday morning screaming at the top of my lungs. Then my neighbor, who's a total *****, comes by and says "you shouldn't be yelling at your girlfriend like that." I wasn't going to stand there and just take it, so I socked him one right in the colon. His wife was bringing groceries inside when this happened, and as if it wasn't bad enough that I had to stop playing video games to go outside and yell, now this ***** was screaming at me like it was my fault.
I couldn't understand what she was shrieking about, as she was flapping her arms in the air and screaming. She started crying when she saw the busted colon I gave her ***** husband, so she took one of her shoes off and threw it at me. I caught the shoe between my pecs and I started to laugh like a pirate. Then she started walking towards me to take her shoe back, and there was no way I was going to let this ***** get near my chest so I body slammed her into a cactus that happened to be there. She got up and was uglier than before, so I did what I always do when women start to cry: I went back inside to play video games.
That wasn't the end of it though, it turns out the cranky old hag across the street saw all of this going on, so she came over to do what women do best: *****. When I opened the door she was standing there in a partly transparent night gown, and it totally ruined the prospect of having a boner for at least 50 years. I was just starting to change my mind about the night gown when she started screeching at me and her stupid cat that she was holding started to hiss. So I took the cat and punted it over my neighbor's fence. She started crying "oh no! My cat! What have you done with my cat?!" I was laughing my ass off, then the ***** tried to scratch me so I gave her a round house kick and dislocated her hip. I was laughing so hard I shit my pants.
Tweetso i'm guessing you're a big fan of the crack pipe?
Tweethehehe...
Elite Senior Resident
Tweetdid she finally get your oil changed, i dont know whats wrong with women these days
Tweetyeah how is the oil?
TweetBilly is that you? Or did auriflex take over your screenname?
TweetHaha! Unfortunately, I did not write it. Not sure who did, my cousin sent it to me. Thought it was funny though.
Elite FG Resident
Tweethahahahaha, good work.
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Elite Senior Resident
TweetLol... kinda funny.
I showed my Gf how to change tho oil in her car... pretty much did everything while she watched.
The next time she wanted to do it all by herself. So I said fine, I'll be at home.
Then I get a call.... Lol... shes like.. "I drained all of the fluid, changed the filter, and added new fluid, but you told me to put WAY too much in. How can I drain only some of the fluid"
That had me pretty confused as I knew I told her to put the right amount in. So I hop into my car and drive over there..
Lol... Silly girl drained the tranny fluid and then added an extra 4 liters of oil to her engine! I just said "Uhhh.. didn't you notice the fluid is a funny red color?"
TweetBwahahaha ... that's classic
TweetI would bet money that auriflex wrote that, and if he did, it is probably a true story at that! lol
FG Resident
Tweetlol..nice
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TweetHA! Are you telling me she actually dropped the tranny pan? Or do you have one of those cool cars that have the external plug?Originally posted by Got Gear?
Lol... kinda funny.
I showed my Gf how to change tho oil in her car... pretty much did everything while she watched.
The next time she wanted to do it all by herself. So I said fine, I'll be at home.
Then I get a call.... Lol... shes like.. "I drained all of the fluid, changed the filter, and added new fluid, but you told me to put WAY too much in. How can I drain only some of the fluid"
That had me pretty confused as I knew I told her to put the right amount in. So I hop into my car and drive over there..
Lol... Silly girl drained the tranny fluid and then added an extra 4 liters of oil to her engine! I just said "Uhhh.. didn't you notice the fluid is a funny red color?"
Elite Senior Resident
TweetWell it's her car, and yeah it has a drain plug.Originally posted by Billy_Bathgate
HA! Are you telling me she actually dropped the tranny pan? Or do you have one of those cool cars that have the external plug?
Wish my truck had one...
Elite Senior Resident
Tweetsaturn or honda ?Originally posted by Got Gear?
Well it's her car, and yeah it has a drain plug.
Wish my truck had one...
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