The Deadly Toll of Bullying

[BABY1]

TweetJamey Rodemeyer of Buffalo, N.Y., is the latest victim in a string of teen suicides linked to bullying. What can you do to keep your kids from being bullied or bullying others?

By Allison Takeda


September 22, 2011 — Five months ago, 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer recorded a video urging teens to stay strong in the face of bullying. On Sunday, just days before the second annual Federal Partners in Bullying Prevention Summit in Washington, D.C., he was found dead of an apparent suicide outside his home in Buffalo.


A freshman at Williamsville North High School, Jamey had endured years of abuse from both classmates and anonymous Internet tormentors, mostly questioning his sexuality. But he had recently been seeking help from both a therapist and a social worker, and though the bullying hadn’t stopped, he was trying to rise above it.
In May, he posted a YouTube message for the It Gets Better project, a worldwide movement to reassure troubled and potentially suicidal lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth that there’s life beyond bullying. In the video, Jamey encouraged his peers to be hopeful and confident in their identities. “We were born this way,” he said. “All you have to do is put your head up — put your head up and you’ll go far…. I promise you, it will get better.”
In Jamey’s case, however, it seemed to just get worse. Comments on his Formspring account, a social-media site that allows anonymous postings, called him “STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND [sic] UGLY” and even encouraged him to take his own life: “I wouldn’t care if you died. No one would. So just do it It would make everyone WAY more happier!”

A Bullying Epidemic?
Jamey’s death is the latest in a disturbing trend of suicides among kids and teens who have been bullied and feel there’s no other way out. In 2010, Rutgers freshman Tyler Clementi jumped off a bridge after his roommate posted a video of him in an intimate situation with another man. And earlier that year, 15-year-old Phoebe Prince hanged herself from a stairwell after months of relentless taunting and physical threats from classmates.
These and other similar tragedies have brought national attention to what some call a bullying epidemic. According to recent data from the National Center for Educational Statistics, 70 percent of students are affected by bullying, whether as a bully, a victim, or a witness. Other research shows that one in five kids has been the target of hateful or hurtful behavior either in school or online. And a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry suggested that bullying victims may be more than twice as likely to develop psychotic symptoms (such as delusions or paranoia) as kids who aren’t abused by their peers.
The effects are particularly profound among LGBT youth. A survey by the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network found that 9 in 10 LGBT students had been bullied in school over the previous year. And in a study published earlier this year in the journal Pediatrics, researchers concluded that gay and bisexual teens in general were significantly more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers (21.5 percent, compared with 4.2 percent). This was true even among students who were not depressed — although rates were higher among those who reported being victimized by their peers.
“Jamey’s suicide is a tragic reminder of the vulnerability of gay teens,” Malcolm Lazin, founder and executive director of the LGBT civil rights-themed Equality Forum, told recently told ABC News. “They are bullied and marginalized,” he said. “While some may say that Jamey took his life, it is unrelenting homophobia that murdered him.”

A Call to Action Against Bullying
In the wake of Jamey’s death, longtime LGBT advocate Lady Gaga — one of Jamey’s favorite artists, whom he quoted repeatedly on his Facebook page — recently tweeted her grief and vowed to “make a law for Jamey.” “Bullying must become illegal. It is a hate crime,” she recently wrote. “I am meeting with our President. I will not stop fighting.”
She’s not the only big name to throw her weight behind the issue. The It Gets Better project now boasts videos from President Obama, Hillary Clinton, Chris Colfer, Ke$ha, the cast of True Blood, and Stephen Colbert, among others. And according to the U.S. Department of Education, which this week hosted the second-annual federal summit on bullying prevention, summit participants ABC Family, the Ad Council, AOL, Facebook, Formspring, MIT, MTV, Sesame Street, Seventeen magazine, and TimeWarner have all committed to raising awareness “for children, parents, and youth service providers through targeted programming and dedicated anti-bullying campaigns.”
Government anti-bullying efforts — on the local, state, and federal levels — have included national “webinars” on topics such as when bullying constitutes discriminatory harassment and how to constructively intervene in bullying situations. There are even efforts underway by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to develop a uniform definition of bullying.
“Bullying affects not only the child or children it targets, but the entire community that surrounds them — their parents, their classmates, even the child engaging in the bullying,” said U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan at the summit. “Keeping our children safe is everyone’s responsibility, and I’m proud to come together with so many national leaders, parents, teachers, and students to reaffirm our collective commitment to prevent bullying in every way possible.”

Help for Parents of Bullied Kids — and of Kids Who Are Bullies
Your child may not want to talk to you about bullying, but there are certain telltale signs that may indicate that he or she is a victim or an aggressor. Among the signs that a child is being bullied: reluctance to go to school, repeated loss of possessions or money, evidence of a scuffle, loss of self-esteem, and depression. Behaviors that suggest your child is the bully and not the bullied include trouble sleeping, a history of discipline problems, aggressive friends, and an obsession with popularity.
If you suspect your child is involved in bullying (in any role), discuss the situation as a family and seek help from school officials and teachers.
“None of us can confront this alone,” said Secretary Duncan. “When we stand together, we can address bullying and fight the hatred, bigotry, and fear that divide us. Our children deserve a chance. We must support them.”

[jipped genes]

Tweet"A Bullying Epidemic?"

really? when i was a kid bullys would chase you after school, sometimes catch you and beat you up, talk about your momma.

IMO today's society has conditioned kids to be weak. they cant handle bullying like the kids from the 70s and 80s and before.

time out, not keeping score at ball games, ect. the attempts to protect kids from bullying from an early age, not allowing them to fail and face adversity, and not teaching true responsibility have turned kids into sissys.

i watched my nephews soccer game, he was goal tender. he was picking he fingernails and a kid shot he was not ready and it went it. all the parents were like good try buddy, good job. of course they did not keep score as it may "hurt some of the loosing kids feelings"

now he is no longer responsible for his actions. he is praised either way. he will be confused later in life when a stronger, faster kid gets the goal position when competition matters.

he wont know how to handle a bully

i certainly dont condone bullying but it was a right of passage for us, seniors would chase the incoming freshmen down and make them eat dirt, and haze us with no mercy.

i hated it but it made me tough and smart. we realized we could not compete with their strength but we became more sly and took alot less abuse, and perhaps became desensitized to it.

these kids when they get bullied freak out and loose it.

its sorry and it should not happen but it is a condition of the liberal parenting of today IMO

[daved150]

Tweetmy daughter was being bullied...i told her if she didnt hit the girl i'd whip her ass myself....she smacked the taste out of her mouth at the skatepark the next day...they are friends now!! on the flip side, my youngest son was bulling a girl in class. it was a rivalery thing that was going on all last year and he was getting sick of it and started this year just being real nasty too her. he crossed the line with ripping her apart for 2 or 3 days in a row, just real nasty comments (*****, slut, fat fukin pig....that was the nice stuff). i found out from the football coach and we had a heart to heart....he knows where i stand on it and i will bust his ass if it happens one more time!! he even THINKS about looking at her sideways he's done. he knows i love him and i explained that, thats not the way to handle a problem.
imo...parents are the problem. they are raising weak ass kids and the strong ones are not being kept in check!! both bully and being bullied are the result of upbringing!!

[FG Troll]

Tweetbeat the snot out of that bully!

[badcompany487]

Tweet

my daughter was being bullied...i told her if she didnt hit the girl i'd whip her ass myself....she smacked the taste out of her mouth at the skatepark the next day...they are friends now!! on the flip side, my youngest son was bulling a girl in class. it was a rivalery thing that was going on all last year and he was getting sick of it and started this year just being real nasty too her. he crossed the line with ripping her apart for 2 or 3 days in a row, just real nasty comments (*****, slut, fat fukin pig....that was the nice stuff). i found out from the football coach and we had a heart to heart....he knows where i stand on it and i will bust his ass if it happens one more time!! he even THINKS about looking at her sideways he's done. he knows i love him and i explained that, thats not the way to handle a problem.
imo...parents are the problem. they are raising weak ass kids and the strong ones are not being kept in check!! both bully and being bullied are the result of upbringing!!

haha you should see what my sister stephanie does to bullies. sometimes she comes home with chunks of their hair

[daved150]

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haha you should see what my sister stephanie does to bullies. sometimes she comes home with chunks of their hair

that why i love her, lol!! i was like that....bully's didnt bully around me or i'd get all over there shyt!!

[chemicallyengineered]

TweetI channeled my frustration with getting picked in into martial arts when i was younger and later into bodybuilding. I never turned into a bully back but it definitely helped my confidence after i had placed well in some tournaments. the weird part is the kids of today don't see how to turn it around and i would say the parents are to blame. But my generation is the parents of today(i'm 36) so why arent there more parents who have those skills? Has everone gotten so lazy with their parenting that they just do whatever it takes to pacify their kids instead of really teaching them how to live?

[jipped genes]

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Has everone gotten so lazy with their parenting that they just do whatever it takes to pacify their kids instead of really teaching them how to live?

so true and why are kids not being taught responsibility for their own actions. it seems they all want to blame someone else.

[venom27]

Tweetmost of the time all it takes is one time to step up to the bully and it will stop i was tormented in grade school my parents always told me to turn the other cheek well that shit didnt work. finally i couldnt take it anymore and i snapped and pounded one of the bullies in the gym locker room but i was smart about it and let him get physical first i didnt even get in trouble for it. my grandpa picked me up for school he asked if i won i said yup he said good boy and that was the end of it not grounded or anything. the bullying for the most part stopped after that. so i think all kids hav to do these days is just stand up for themselves not goin on youtube and crying about it do something about it even if u get beat up for standing up for urself the bully will probaly stop.

[F E]

TweetFat weak kids are being raised today by the ton.......literally.

And for some reason society as a whole is condoning this.

FE