The cost of SEX!!!!!

[Dzone]

TweetHaving sex is yet another great past time for burning up those unwanted fat producing calories...


REMOVING CLOTHES
With partner's consent... 12 calories
Without partner's consent... 187 calories

UNHOOKING BRA
Using two calm hands... 7 calories
Using one trembling hand... 36 calories

GETTING INTO BED
Lifting partner... 8.5 calories
Dragging partner along floor... 16 calories
Using skateboard... 3 calories

ACHIEVING ERECTIONS
For normal healthy man... 2.5 calories
Losing erection... 14 calories
Searching for it... 115 calories

PUTTING ON CONDOM
With erection... 1.5 calories
Without erection... 300 calories

INSERTING DIAPHRAGM
If the woman who does it is:
Experienced... 6 calories
Inexperienced... 73 calories
If a man does it... 650 calories
Add five calories for retrieving it from across the room.


POSSIBLE INTERCOURSE SIDE EFFECTS
Bouncing... 7 calories
Sliding around... 9 calories
Serious skidding... 12 calories
Whiplash... 27 calories

ORGASM
Real... 27 calories
Faked... 160 calories

ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE
Shoes flew off... 35 calories
Expression didn't change... 0.
5 calories
Orchestra swelled... 6 calories
Birds sang:
Large birds... 7 calories
Small birds... 3 calories
Earth moved... 30 calories

PULLING OUT
After orgasm... 0.
5 calories
A few moments before orgasm... 500 calories

PENIS ENVY
For woman... 3 calories
For men... 72 calories

GUILT
Banging your boss for a promotion... 30 calories
Sex during a 'sickie'... 10 calories
Boinking each other with parents in other room... 7 calories
Putting it on your expense account... 9 calories

AGGRAVATION
Partner keeps watching TV... 5 calories
Partner insists on dog cuddling during foreplay... 14 calories
Partner just visited bathroom for 7th time... 10 calories
Partner is taking phone calls... 7 calories
Partner is making phone call..9 calories

[FUZO]

Tweeteveryone needs to do this asap to get into shape,lol or just to have sex

[daved150]

Tweetworks well for us!!!

[Buffgrandpa]

TweetNot to mention the hundreds of stressful hours in divorce court, the lack of food money going to alimony... oh wait.. wrong topic.. sorry...