Originally Posted by
FUZO
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Trip's underlying theme scenario.
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
WHAT WE KNOW IF U DON'T CHANGE ON YOUR OWN CHANGE WILL BE FORCED UPON U BY CRISIS.
JOHN McCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HMMMMMM, JOHN BELIEVES HE KNOWS THE CHICKEN BETTER THAN HE KNOWS HIMSELF, THUS HE PROJECTS WHAT THE CHICKEN THINKS AND HIS INTENTIONS ON TO THE CHICKEN WITHOUT EITHER ASKING THE CHICKEN OR PAYING ATTENTION TO THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE CHICKENS ACTIONS.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me, although I clearly remember having to dodge enemy fire as Chelsea and I tried to cross the road.
ALL CHICKENS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME, AND THEY NEED ME, CAUSE HILLARY KNOWS BEST.
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
DID THE CHICKEN SAY HE HAD A PROBLEM OR AKS FOR HELP? IS IT INCOVEIVEABLE TO THINK THE CHICKEN IS HAPPY.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ARGHHHHHHHHH. DAMMIT, THE CHICKEN DIDN'T SAY HE HAD ANY PROBLEMS DID HE.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
AHHHHHHH, SOMEONE WITH SOME INSIGHT, WE DO NOT CARE. NO MIDDLE GROUND, HMMMMMMMM. FOR US OR AGAINST US. GET A CLUE BRO, IT'S A FRIGGIN CHICKEN.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... .
OKAY.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
HAVE U TALKED TO THE CHICKEN YET. UH-DUDE HE MIGHT LIKE IT ON THE OTHER SIDE
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
ARE U FREINDS WITH BUSH, YOU KNOW HE CAN LOOK INTO A MANS SOUL BY LOOKING AT HIS EYS?
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
ONE MORE TIME. IT'S A CHICKEN, PAT.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT THE CHICKEN NOT ABOUT U. NEXT PLEASE
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
U GO GUY, KEEP IT SIMPLE, I HAVEN'T BEEN TOLD EITHER, SO U GOT COMPANY.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
HMMMMMMM, THAT'S SAD, YET, THEY HAVEN'T REPORTED IT ON FOX NEWS YET.
RUSH LIMBAUGH:
Because the chicken was g*y! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is g*y. And if you eat that chicken, you will become g*y too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ANSWER RUSH.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
YOU GO GRANDPA, IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME TOO.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that intewesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a sewious case of molting, and went on to accompwish its wife wong dweam of cwossing the woad.
COOL.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
SO, TRUE.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
YES, THEY ARE CALLED LEMMINGS.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra ....#$$&&+*%... Reboot!
GLAD UR WORKING ON IT, KEEP IT UP. MAYBE ONE DAY. WE'RE ALL PULLING FOR U
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
NO, U GO FIRST, WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION.
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
THANK U FOR YOUR ANSWER, AL.
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
I DO NOT KNOW, DID U?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
ON YOUR HIP.
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ANSWER, AL.
REVEREND JEREMIAH WRIGHT:
Dam* that chicken. Does that make me unpatriotic?
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FUZO
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
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