For those of us who fly.....(very funny)

[Scalleywag]

TweetUPS Airlines (United Parcel Service)

Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in ****pit
S: Something tightened in ****pit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence remove d.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like amidget pounding on s omething with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[dixiechick]

TweetLOL... that's funny.

[Klash]

Tweetthat's good..

[daved150]

Tweetlmao!!! thats funny shyt. thats a good working enviorment there!!!

[FUZO]

TweetWELL WORKING FOR THE AIRLINE WHEN A 777 PLANE PULLS IN THE GATE THOSE TIRES ARE SCREAMING HOT TO THE TOUCH. IN THE WINTER TIME WE STAND UNDERNEATH THE 777-747 BECAUSE THEY BLOW OFF HOT HEAT UNDERNEATH THE PLANE AND THATS WERE WE WARM UP. YOU GUYS THINK ITS COLD OUTSIDE TRY WORKING AT OHARE ALL NIGHT 8-10HRS OUTSIDE IN THAT WINDY CITY WEATHER. VERY COLD.AND THE ONLY TIME YOU GET TO WARM UP IS WHEN YOUR IN THE PIT LOADING THE BAGS.SO YOU GIRLS WHO THINK ITS COLD OUTSIDE GO WORK AT OHARE FOR A WINTER SEASON