WOMEN
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
> > lights and darks.
> >
> > Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along
> > the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> >
> > Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
> > more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
> >
> > Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
> > wide loofah and pumice stone.
> >
> > Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
> > vitamins. >
> > Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with
> > grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
> >
> > Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
> > red.
> >
> > Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
> > Rinse conditioner off hair.
> >
> > Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces
! > > in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
> >
> > Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
> >
> > Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
> >
> > Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
> >
> > If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> >
> > How To Shower Like a Man
> >
> > Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
> > a pile.
> >
> > Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener
> > at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
> >
> > Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
> >
> > Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
> >
> > Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
> >
> > Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
> >
> > Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
> >
> > Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
> >
> > Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
> >
> > Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
> >
> > Rinse off and get out of shower.
> >
> > Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
> > hanging out of tub the whole time.
> >
> > Admire wiener size in mirror again.
> >
> > Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on fl! oor, light and fan on.
> >
> > Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
> > towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
> >
> > Throw wet towel on bed.