The Body Builder Rules

[GunzofSteel3]

TweetM&F April
Thought this was pretty funny.

Rule 1- In answer to the question, "what are you working out today". In no way is "glutes" 'an admissable answer.

Rule 2- Real men do not take yoga classess. (As for all of you Sting wannabes who are in said class, go ahead, untangle yourself and write in to complain. whatever)

Rule 3- When asked about your max bench press, it is OK to add 20% to your real total, if a female is present, add 40%.

Rule 4- Spandex pants- Do I even have to tell you?

Rule 5- Stretching is Ok, just make sure and do it in a out of the way place. The corner of an unused cardio room... or a broom closet for instance.

Rule 6- The following exercises should never be done by a male body builder. The "Glute Blaster" machine (see rule number 1), plie squats, walking dumbell lunges. Anyone have any others to add to the list?

Rule 7- Its okay to flex your biceps in the mirror proudly between sets, it is not okay to talk to yourself , saying, "Im the man!" as you do it.

Rule 8- Running shorts sure the hell aren't cool on runners, and they certainly aren't cool on anyone lifting weights.

Rule 9- Bring a dam towel to mop up your sweat. Those who don't can legally be pummelled to death in 38 states. (Legislation is pending in 4 others)

Rule 10- Never us the phrase, "hey want to take the cardio pump class with me". Not to a friend, and not as a pick up line.

Rule 11- Even if you did event it, it is not okay to name an exercise after yourself.

Rule 12- Grunting loudly while you push out one last rep of a heavy set on any free weight is OK, grunting while pushing out one last rep involving any cable machine is not.

Rule 13- Though shall not read womens fashion magazines while doing cardio. Even if someone left it there, even if you are completely bored trudging out 30 minutes on a treadmill without a view of a TV

Rule 14- You are required to give your buddies heads up when a hottie walks in the gym but only after you have gotten her number.

Rule 15- Asking to work in on a machine is OK, as long as you don't make any adjustments to the seat. Asking to work in to someones bench press is pure sacrilege! Especially if you have to ask me to take plates off for you ya pansy!

Rule 16- If its your idea to wake up at some ungodly hour to work out, under NO circumstances are ou allowed to blow off your work out partner. Only exception, you send Timea Majorova in your place.

Rule 17- Those who do not follow the above rules shall be cursed with gyno.

Gunz...

[rado]

Tweetnot trying to be an ass, but I didn't think it was funny or amusing, sorry.

[fireman]

TweetI thought it was hilarious. and very true. I just thought of another.

using the smith machine for anything but squats while your nursing a broken leg back to shape is strictly forbidden. I saw a dumbass doing upright rows on the smith machine. hell now that I think about it I've seen people use it for bench press too. If you cant support the bar, go take the yoga class

[rugbythug]

Tweet

Originally posted by fireman
I thought it was hilarious. and very true. I just thought of another.

using the smith machine for anything but squats while your nursing a broken leg back to shape is strictly forbidden. I saw a dumbass doing upright rows on the smith machine. hell now that I think about it I've seen people use it for bench press too. If you cant support the bar, go take the yoga class

That is real dumb-Personally I don't lift with a spotter so the smith is a life saver. Plus if you are doing any kind of rest pause set the smith makes everything better.

[x|Fluid|x]

Tweetexactly.

[monstercojones]

Tweetits pretty amusing... and i use the smith machine for bench cause i usually work out alone, dont talk shit. hahha.

[Massive1]

TweetIt's slightly amusing. The thing it it steps on some toes, if you do some of that stuff.

[rado]

Tweet

[|D|R|S|]

TweetI thought most of it was pretty funny except the part about spandex pants. hahaha shit...

[jjgarcia3]

Tweetit is a friggin joke, no need to get up-tight about anything

[GunzofSteel3]

TweetDidn't mean to step on anyones toes. If you do the glute blaster, while wearing spandex and reading a fashion mag as you grunt to push out one last rep, more power to ya.

I just thought it was kind of funny. Ive read better observational stuff about the gym, but they always crack me up.

[jack hust]

Tweetlol imo

[Saucefit]

TweetBench press on smith machine forces your ROM to be incorrect. On bench press the ROM is not straight up and down, it is a slight arc. It's not a big deal though.
I like the curse of the gyno. That's definitely a curse to the body-builder!