Subject: CUSTOMER SERVICE CALL
>
> CUSTOMER SERVICE CALL:
> This has to be one of the funniest things I've heard of in a long time.
>I
> think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is supposed to
> be a true phone call from the WordPerfect Help Line which was transcribed
> from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to
> say, the HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
> the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is
> actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. Now I
> know why they record these conversations!
>
>
> "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
>
> "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
>
> "What sort of trouble?"
>
> "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
>
> "Went away?"
>
> "They disappeared."
>
> "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
>
> "Nothing."
>
> "Nothing?"
>
> "It's blank, it won't accept anything when I type."
>
> "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you close it?"
>
> "How do I tell?"
>
> "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
>
> "What's a sea-prompt?"
>
> "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
>
> "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
>
> "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
>
> "What's a monitor?"
>
> "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have
> a little light that tells you when it's on? "
>
>
> "I don't know."
>
>
> "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
> goes into it. Can you see that?"
>
> "Yes, I think so."
>
> "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
>the
> wall."
>
> "Yes, it is."
>
> "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
> cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
>
> "No."
>
> "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
> cable."
>
> "Okay, here it is"
>
> "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
> your computer."
>
> "I can't reach."
>
> "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
>
> "No."
>
> "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
>
> "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's
> dark."
>
> "Dark?"
>
> "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
>from
> the window."
>
> "Well, turn on the office light then."
>
> "I can't."
>
> "No? Why not?"
>
> "Because there's a power failure."
>
> "A power...A power failure? Aha, okay, we have it licked now. Do you
> still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
>in?"
>
> "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
>
> "Good. Go find them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
> was when you bought it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
> from."
>
> "Really? Is it that bad?"
>
> "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>
> "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
>
> "Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer."


I rolled on the floor laughing at this. This is the kind of thing people 'need' to say sometimes.