Random Insults

[kite]

TweetYou are so ugly the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper

When they were handing out brains, you thought they said 'trains' and asked for a slow one.

Your father should have pulled out and spit you on the wall.

Perhaps you should consider registering for disability, because it's obvious that you're completely blind to the fact that you are a total tool.

You're so annoying that I just want to tear your ears off and shove 'em up your anus so that you can hear me kick your ass.

I wonder what you are going to do for a face when the babboon wants its ass back.

You make me want to staple my **** shut.

Last time i saw a belly like that i was given a stocking full of presents.

Watching you two makes me feel like I'm watching a pair of retards with buckets on their heads running into the wall thinking it's each other.

For years I debated the difference between you and a bucket of shit - now I know it's just the bucket...

Do me a favor and mistake a shotgun for your fathers penis and stick it down your throat.

Last time i had a kiss like that i was trying to bring my goldfish back to life.

Slit your wrist, it will lower your blood pressure.

After reading your previous two posts I was wondering if you could write more than a one sentence retort or does the time it takes to figure out a comeback cut into your worktime at the shelteredworkshop. Retard.

You need to get a life outside of the internet. Go outside, look around. I'm sure trailer parks smell lovely in the morning.

Are you a professional ass-clown, or is this your first public audition?

You got your brain very early. Apparently the warranty has run out.

If ignorance was bliss, than your entire life would be a perpetual orgasm.

**** off, you ****-faced spunk junkie.

Tell us -- were you born such a retarded shithead, or were you originally a slug who managed to rise to such prominence?

Your wife is like a brick; flat on both sides, dirty, and gets layed by Mexicans.

I can't believe that shitty website is still online, but like your mother's herpes, it keeps coming back.

Stop using Jesus as an excuse for being a narrow-minded, bigoted asshole.

Here's an idea: Go impale yourself on a sharp stick and die gurgling blood in a pool of your own inadvertently released urine and feces.

They really ruined a perfect rectum when they put teeth in your mouth!

You're so dumb, when you were born your mom should have been arrested for smuggling dope.

Never trust a bald man. If his head looks like your ass, you know he's full of shit.

I fail to comprehend how you can continue to function on any level with an IQ that is three degrees below whale shit.

With your last statement and current appearance you have just answered the question of--"Did the white man ever **** the Buffalo"!

Here's an idea: Go impale yourself on a sharp stick and die gurgling blood in a pool of your own inadvertently released urine and feces.

Never trust a bald man. If his head looks like your ass, you know he's full of shit.

I fail to comprehend how you can continue to function on any level with an IQ that is three degrees below whale shit.

Had you, perchance, been the owner of a viable braincell, you might have aspired to something other than felching the bottom of the food chain.

You are one load I wish your mother had swallowed.

Frankly, if you sucked anymore you would inhale your own dick.

Do us all a favor, and please shut that gaping, tartar-encrusted penis receptacle that you call a mouth; you are a puss-filled cyst in the colon of society.

Had you, perchance, been the owner of a viable braincell, you might have aspired to something other than felching the bottom of the food chain.

You're a bottom-feeder loser who feeds off the scraps that the roaches won't even touch.

Hurry up and die already so that I can piss in your grave.

What is the smallest muscle in a sheeps ass? Apparently your dick.

What are you going to do for a face when the baboon calls and wants his ass back?

If ignorance were a disability, you'd get the full pension.

Your intellectual poverty is noted, and mocked.

You're lucky mirrors don't talk, or laugh for that matter.

If you put your brain in a bird, it would fly backwards.

Last time I saw legs like that there was a message attatched to them.

You must have a very large brain, to hold so much ignorance.

Wouldn't clues have more room to fit in your head if you got rid of some of the shit in there?

Here's a tip: A closed mouth gathers no foot.

If you're going say something that stupid you could at least fake a stroke.

I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.

Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing

[SpyWizard]

TweetYour Momma's SO FAT her school photograph was an aerial shot.



Your Momma's SO DUMB she tries to put M&M's in alphabetical order.



Your Momma's SO FAT after sex I roll over twice and I'm still on her.



Your Momma's SO FAT at the table she sits next to everyone.



Your Momma's SO FAT her ass has its own congressman.



Your Momma's SO FAT her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.



Your Momma's SO FAT her belt size is "equator".



Your Momma's SO FAT her blood type is Ragu.



Your Momma's SO FAT her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.



Your Momma's SO FAT her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."



Your Momma's SO FAT her nickname is "DAAAMN!!"



Your Momma's SO FAT I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.



Your Momma's SO FAT I have to take a holiday to walk around her.



Your Momma's SO FAT if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it !



Your Momma's SO FAT I was lying on the beach when she walked by and I thought we had an eclipse.
(Please also put my name on your page... Terry Cunningham, Anderson, IN)



Your Momma's SO FAT people jog around her for exercise.



Your Momma's SO FAT scrubes her ass with a tree



Your Momma's SO FAT she can't even jump to a conclusion.



Your Momma's SO FAT she caught that flesh-eating virus and was given 10 years to live.



Your Momma's SO FAT she could sell shade.



Your Momma's SO FAT she fills up the bath tub then turns on the water.



Your Momma's SO FAT she gets runs in her jeans.



Your Momma's SO FAT she had to get her ears pierced so we could see the TV.



Your Momma's SO FAT she has to iron her pants on the driveway.



Your Momma's SO FAT she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.



Your Momma's SO FAT she jumped into the air she got stuck



Your Momma's SO FAT she makes free willy look like a tik-tak



Your Momma's SO FAT she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.



Your Momma's SO FAT she sat on a five pound note and blood came out of the Queen's nose.



Your Momma's SO FAT she speaks in surround sound.



Your Momma's SO FAT she uses a mattress as a tampon.



Your Momma's SO FAT she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.



Your Momma's SO FAT she was walking down the street, I swerved to miss her and ran out of gas.



Your Momma's SO FAT she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.



Your Momma's SO FAT she's got her own zip code.



Your Momma's SO FAT she's got smaller fat women orbiting her.



Your Momma's SO FAT she's on BOTH sides of the family.



Your Momma's SO FAT the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.



Your Momma's SO FAT the last time she saw 90210 was on the scales.



Your Momma's SO FAT they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.



Your Momma's SO FAT they have to scrap 6 battleships if she wants a new bra



Your Momma's SO FAT they used her underwear for the millenium dome



Your Momma's SO FAT when her pager goes off, people think she's reversing.



Your Momma's SO FAT when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.



Your Momma's SO FAT when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.



Your Momma's SO FAT when she farts the army bottle it and use it as chemical warfare



Your Momma's SO FAT when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.



Your Momma's SO FAT when she gets sexually frustrated she goes and sits on a lampost



Your Momma's SO FAT when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.



Your Momma's SO FAT when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.



Your Momma's SO FAT when she has sex with someone she has to give directions!!! ps i ant my name on your web page next to this joke*********########### From "sadia786" sadia786@tinyworld.co.uk



Your Momma's SO FAT when she lies on the beach greenpeace comes along to tow her back into the sea



Your Momma's SO FAT when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.



Your Momma's SO FAT when she reads a menu she says "O.K".



Your Momma's SO FAT when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.



Your Momma's SO FAT when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.



Your Momma's SO FAT when she's told to haul ass she has to make two trips.



Your Momma's SO STUPID she sold the car for some petrol



Your Momma's SO STUPID she was fired from the bannana plantation for throwing away the bent ones



Your Momma's SO STUPID she was fired from the m&m factory for throwing away the "Ws"



Your Momma's SO UGLY the dog takes her for walks.



Your Momma's SO UGLY when she was born your grandmomma wanted a refund

[daved150]

Tweetlmao!! alot of those a funny!! i wish i could remember them!!!

[jipped genes]

TweetOMG! i now have a brutal arsenal for my workplace disputes