Our Legal System

[angryoldman]

TweetThe following are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts" and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters. Enjoy! Hehehe!

Attorney: Are you sexually active?
Witness: No, I just lie there.

Attorney: What is your date of birth?
Witness: July 18th.
Attorney: What year?
Witness: Every year.

Attorney: How old is your son, the one living with you?
Witness: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Attorney: How long has he lived with you?
Witness: Forty-five years.

Attorney: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Attorney: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Witness: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Attorney: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
Witness: Oral.

Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
Witness: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Attorney: And why did that upset you?
Witness: My name is Susan.

[ByRoN]

Tweetlmao!!!

[daved150]

Tweetlmao!!
when i was young (16) i got a speeding ticket in detroit. i had to go to court. the judge was hammering everyone before me! the guy right before me got up there and when the judge asked "what do you have to say for yourself"
he replied.."judge, it aint gonna happen no mo...n.o. m.o(spelled out)., nomo"!

[kite]

Tweetlol

[T-Man007]

Tweetlol and lol at David's story!