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    Thread: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

    1. 06-29-2006, 02:58 PM #1
      angryoldman's Avatar
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      Default Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card



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      • Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card
      • Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card
      • Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card
      My tire was thumping.
      I thought it was flat

      When I looked at the tire...

      I noticed your cat.

      Sorry!


      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

      Heard your wife left you,
      How upset you must be.

      But don't fret about it...

      She moved in with me.



      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

      Looking back over the years
      that we've been together,

      I can't help but wonder...

      "What the hell was I thinking?"



      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

      Congratulations on your wedding day!
      Too bad no one likes your husband.

      ! ;~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

      How could two people as beautiful as you
      Have such an ugly baby?



      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

      I've always wanted to have
      someone to hold,
      someone to love.

      After having met you ..

      I've changed my mind.

      -------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

      I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
      I never believed in Hell until I met you.



      //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
      As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
      That you're not here to ruin it for me.



      ################################################## ##

      Congratulations on your promotion.
      Before you go...

      Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

      You'll probably need it again.

      ************************************************** ******************************

      Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

      (Available only in Alabama)

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

      Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

      Almost Lifelike!

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

      When we were together,
      you always said you'd die for me.

      Now that we've broken up,

      I think it's time you kept your promise.



      //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

      We have been friends for a very long time ..
      let's say we stop?



      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++

      I'm so miserable without you
      it's almost like you're here.



      ================================================== ===

      Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

      Did you ever find out who the father was?



      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Your friends and I wanted to do
      something special for your birthday.

      So we're having you put to sleep.



      )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

      So your daughter's a hooker,
      and it spoiled your day.

      Look at the bright side,

      it's really good pay
      “I don't look ahead... I keep focused on my next opponent. I am looking forward to my next opponent, I don't think past that point.”
      --Manny Pacquiao



      Big Mike's speach to Congress telling them to phuque off on the steroid ban:
      https://www.moviewavs.com/0049230534/...y/statemnt.mp3





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    2. 06-29-2006, 03:02 PM #2
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      Default Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

      We have been friends for a very long time ..
      let's say we stop?


      lmao!
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    4. 06-29-2006, 03:05 PM #3
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      Default Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

      Haha. These are funny. Reps nucka!
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    5. 06-29-2006, 03:18 PM #4
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      Default Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card



      Those were great..I tried repping,
      ----------------------------------------------------------------
      "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
      ----------------------------------------------------------------
      Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises which help convert fats, sugars, and starch into aches, pains and cramps! (that's why I don't do 'em LOL)
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    7. 06-29-2006, 03:34 PM #5
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      Default Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

      Quote Originally Posted by Lily


      Those were great..I tried repping,

      YOU MEAN HOOCHING
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    8. 06-29-2006, 03:55 PM #6
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      Default Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

      lmao...someone needs to make those...there's a couple i could use!
      HE WHO MAKES A BEAST OF HIMSELF, GET'S RID OF THE PAIN OF BEING A MAN!!


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    10. 06-29-2006, 03:56 PM #7
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      Default Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

      My favorite:
      How could two people as beautiful as you
      Have such an ugly baby?
      “I don't look ahead... I keep focused on my next opponent. I am looking forward to my next opponent, I don't think past that point.”
      --Manny Pacquiao



      Big Mike's speach to Congress telling them to phuque off on the steroid ban:
      https://www.moviewavs.com/0049230534/...y/statemnt.mp3





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    11. 06-29-2006, 03:58 PM #8
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      Default Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

      Quote Originally Posted by angryoldman
      My favorite:
      How could two people as beautiful as you
      Have such an ugly baby?
      i like the knife in the back one...i could use a box of those in this buisness!
      HE WHO MAKES A BEAST OF HIMSELF, GET'S RID OF THE PAIN OF BEING A MAN!!


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    13. 06-29-2006, 04:09 PM #9
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      Default Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

      Quote Originally Posted by FUZO
      YOU MEAN HOOCHING
      ----------------------------------------------------------------
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      ----------------------------------------------------------------
      Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises which help convert fats, sugars, and starch into aches, pains and cramps! (that's why I don't do 'em LOL)
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    14. 06-29-2006, 05:55 PM #10
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      Default Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

      Looking back over the years
      that we've been together,

      I can't help but wonder...

      "What the hell was I thinking?"


      That's my favorite.
      I used to have superhuman powers....until my therapist took them away.

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    16. 06-29-2006, 06:14 PM #11
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      Default Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

      funny stuff
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    17. 06-29-2006, 10:25 PM #12
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      Default Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

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      reps for you
      Push it, Pull it, Rack it. Repeat untill wide!!

      Take nothing I say as serious, What do I know, I sell water!!


      Vet@FitnessGeared.com



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