When girls don't put out!

[sjierual]

TweetWhen girls don't put out!!

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.

[Lily]

TweetLOL


I wish my husband put out more!

[Gooseneck]

TweetI read that somewhere before but it's awesome. These things go two ways, and a lot of women dont realize that.

[SMILEY FACE]

Tweetawesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Iron_Gook]

TweetThat rocked!!! Kudos!

IG

[daved150]

TweetTHATS GREAT!!! I'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT

[O2BESOHUGE]

TweetWHO HAS A GIRL THAT DOESNT PUT OUT??? I THOUGHT ALL OF THEM WERE SUPPOSED TO

[Stackt]

Tweet

WHO HAS A GIRL THAT DOESNT PUT OUT??? I THOUGHT ALL OF THEM WERE SUPPOSED TO

lol ,they still make those !

[BigDawg]

TweetClassic !!

[crombie09]

TweetHaha. Funny.

[NATE]

Tweet

WHO HAS A GIRL THAT DOESNT PUT OUT??? I THOUGHT ALL OF THEM WERE SUPPOSED TO

I don't...i barely make it throught the door before she has ahold of me.

[LilFella]

TweetThats hilarious!!

[mrthnhmn]

TweetGreat find! I think he forgot a sentence saying "Then he woke up and held his girl all night".

[supasaiyan99]

TweetLOL!!! Now he's not getting any for 6 months!!!

[angryoldman]

Tweet

WHO HAS A GIRL THAT DOESNT PUT OUT??? I THOUGHT ALL OF THEM WERE SUPPOSED TO

It's the age old question:
Q. How do you cure a nymphomaniac?



A. Marry Her