A father, passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed ,
"Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope with
trembling hands, and read the letter.

"Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion... Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we
will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people
in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime,
we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She
sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Love, Your Son, John.







P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report
card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe
for me to come home."