Big Dick

**kite** · 02-20-2006, 02:26 PM

Cheney that is, shot some poor bastard and now everyone's trippin on him. It sucks for the guy shot, but pretty damn funny for everyone else!
Leno

Although it is beautiful here in California the weather back east has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C. Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear.

That's the big story over the weekend. On a quail hunting trip in Texas, Vice President of the United States, Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78 year old lawyer. In fact when people found out he shot a lawyer his popularity is now at 92%!

I guess the guy is going to be ok. When the ambulance got there, out of force of habit they put Cheney on the stretcher. No, the other guy!

But you know, I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, "Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?!"

Something I just found out today about the incident. Do you know that Dick Cheney tortured the guy for a half hour before he shot him?

Cheney's defense is that he was aiming at a quail when he shot the guy. Which means that Cheney now has the worst aim of anyone in the white house since Bill Clinton.

In fact, do you know what Cheney said to his aides after he shot the guy? "Save his heart! Grab his heart!"

Friday night at the opening ceremonies, all the Olympic athletes marched into the stadium, and when the French team saw that many people marching, they just immediately surrendered.

Some sad news, figure skater Michele Kwan has dropped out of the Olympics after suffering an injury. Today out of force of habit police arrested Tonya Harding.

Turns out that Michelle Kwan is not really hurt. She just doesn't want to be on NBC.

Letterman

We located the weapons of mass destruction - Dick Cheney!

Over the weekend while bird hunting, shooting quails, there was a little horseplay and the Vice President Dick Cheney shot his buddy. Before the trip Donald Rumsfeld denied the request for body armor.

I don't see what the fuss is all about. What's more American than shooting your hunting buddy in the ass?

We can't get bin Laden but we can get a 78 year old attorney.

The man that was shot is a Republican lawyer and a big donor to the party. The bullet was actually deflected by a big wad of cash