marriage!

[ByRoN]

Tweet*stolen* (snickers HEHE)

Marriage (Part I)
>>
>>
>> Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
>> wedding, he laid down the following rules:
>>
>> "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I
>> don't
>> expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the
>> table
>> unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting,
>> fishing,
>> boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't
>> you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any
>> comments?"
>>
>> His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
>> there
>> will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're
>> here or not."
>>
>> (DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
>> ************************************************
>> Marriage (Part II)
>>
>> Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
>> wedding
>> anniversary!
>>
>> The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
>> reads, "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'
>>
>> "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
>> that
>> reads, "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"
>>
>> (HE ASKED FOR IT!)
>>
>> *****************************************
>>
>> Marriage (Part III)
>>
>> Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
>> table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in
>> bed either," and storms out of the house.
>>
>> After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends
>> and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the
>> irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the
>> phone?"
>>
>> She says, "I was in bed."
>>
>> "In bed this early, doing what?"
>>
>> "Getting a second opinion!"
>>
>> (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
>>
>>
>> *****************************************
>>
>> Marriage (Part IV)
>>
>> A man has! six children and is very proud of his achievement. He
>> is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of
>> Six"
>> in spite of her objections.
>>
>> One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it! 's time to
>> go
>> home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
>> He
>> shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"
>>
>> His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts
>> right
>> back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
>>
>> (RIGHT ON, LADY!)
>>
>> *****************************************
>> Marriage (Part V)
>> THE SILENT TREATMENT
>>
>> A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
>> giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realized
>> that
>> the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an
>> early
>> morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the
>> silence
>> (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00
>> AM."
>>
>> He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the
>> man
>> woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his
>> flight.
>> Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him
>> when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is
>> 5:00
>> AM. Wake up!"
>>
>> (Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.)

[SUGARBABY]

TweetI like the last one!

[HungarianBeast]

TweetYeah, that last one sounds like something GP would do.

[BIGMOFO]

Tweetlol

[daved150]

Tweet#4 is good...here's another...(sorry byron, just trying to add to the subject)

a young couple gets married and they head off to there honeymoon.
upon getting in the room the wife gets in bed ready for the big night.
the husband takes off his pants and tosses them to the new bride,
"here ya go honey...put these on!!"
holding the pants, witch are 3x the size of her, out in front of her she replies,
"i wont fit in these." to witch he say's
"that's right, cause i'm the man baby, i where the pants around here, dont go forgetting that!"
the wife, acting all coy at her new hubby's forcefullness, removes her panties and slings them to her new man,
"here, try these on atilla!!" she says.
hubby, excitenly anticapating what was to become of this, steps into the panties and begins to pull them up, frustrated that he cant get them past his knee's he yells out
" I CANT GET INTO THESE!!"
wife say's, "thats right, and if you dont change you attitude, your not gonna either!!

[Shiner22nd]

TweetGreat stuff....Shiner

[Fit2bLarge]

Tweetbyron, you ass! lol didnt even give me credit!