Tweet1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front
of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up or down depending on how
much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying "Hey, guys, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. You're wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-spangled Banner" are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at Bubba's House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your "sweetheart" because there's a law
against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.