Ghetto Resume' (funny as HELL)

[Hollywood]

TweetGHETTO RESUME

Rozonda LaQueeta "Pookie" Jenkins
2036 South Side Skreet Projects
Compton, CA 11122

Phone: Cut off right now but will be back on by the 15th.

OBJECTIVE
To one day fulfill my dream of becoming a SoulTrain Dancer and, you know, just gittin my life togetha and stuff. I also hope to one day be the best cosmotologecalist in the 'hood.'

SKILLS
I do hurh and nails in my kitchen and I use my glitter and weave bonding glue for arts and crafts and stuff. I do braids in any texture or color; synthetoc or human hurh.

EDUCATION
The "GET YOURS" Home Correspondence Course, INC:
Big Mamma's House of Hair 'N Nails 'N Fried Chicken 'N Stuff (Gradiated with honors for the most extensions don in a year's time)

WORK EXPERIENCE
January 10, 1999-January 30, 1999
Big Daddy's Motel Motor Lodge Bar & Grill Pool Hall & Bait 'N TackleShop
March 1, 1999-November 1, 1999
The Golden Tooth Dental & Jewelry Emporium
I loveded this job cuz they gave me a free toof ary monf and now I can spell my baby daddy name but they done up and fired me cuz I let one of my homeboys sniff the laughing gas. He just smelt it, he don't do drugs no mo.
November 2, 1999-November 10, 1999
My Baby Daddy's Day Care Center Car Wash & Barber Shop
Reason for leaving: They tried to work a sistuh ta deaf and I got thangs ta do
November 12, 1999- November 14, 1999
Kim Fung Toi's House of Rice & Skrimps and Stuff
Reason For Leaving: You don't even wanna know
Jimmy's Jheri Curls & Motor Lube
Reason for leaving: Hospitalized for spine injury when I slipped on an overflow of activator.
The Ike Turner Pimp Slap Recovery Center (They have lovely commodations; yes I worked there and was a patient too.)
Reason for leaving: Center closed down cuz Tina Turner done refused Ike's request to give a benefit concert and donate the money to Ike. Ike say Tina done got beside haself since she a big star and arythang.
He say he remember when she was Anna Mae Bullock from Nut Bush, Tennessee.

REFERENCES:
Lawanda Jenkins (from up the skreet)
Hezakiah Clevestus "The Playa" Jones (my homie's cuzzin's babydaddy)
The Right Reverend Aliza Benjarmin "ineedadrank" O'grady (pastor of the Greater Mt. Carmel Church of God in Christ Kingdom Hall of Our Lady of Saints Holy Rosary Latter Day Seventh Advent Saints Episcapaleen Sanctified Non-Denominational Baptist Church Inc., a not-for-profit agency.)

[countrychic]

Tweetlol

[DiamondBling]

Tweethaahahahaahaha, looks like an ex gurlfriend of mine resume, lol

[jack hust]

Tweetlol

[pudgy]

Tweeti have recieved resumes almost as bad as this, its funny but i bet you 5 it gets edited.

[goliath]

TweetLOL!!

[Hollywood]

Tweetedited for what pudgy?

[pudgy]

Tweeti dont know just a feeling , maybe im wrong.

[Hollywood]

Tweet If so, that's cool, I just thought it was FUNNY!!!

[pudgy]

Tweetit was

[Team Flex]

Tweet hahaha

[bigjim33]

Tweet

Originally posted by Hollywood
edited for what pudgy?

i am not goin to edit it, i don't see anything wrong with the joke, i think it is funny

[Hollywood]

TweetThanx BJ, Your cool!
I liked it too, and if I thought it would offend anyone I wouldn't have posted it, if it did though, I apologize and you can spank me if it makes you feel better

[bigjim33]

Tweet

Originally posted by Hollywood
Thanx BJ, Your cool!
I liked it too, and if I thought it would offend anyone I wouldn't have posted it, if it did though, I apologize and you can spank me if it makes you feel better

well in that case, i am VERY OFFENDED!

[pudgy]

Tweetme too.