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Top 10 Reasons Why Michael Jackson Needs to Go to Prison:
Written by Morgan Truce
10. Michael Jackson's nose. That disgusting chunk of plastic that Jackson now parades around as "his nose" is an affront to even the least talented Hollywood plastic surgeon. Michael Jackson has refused to face up to the fact that he no longer has a nose. A few years in the slammer will help him overcome his desire for the perfect nose.
9. Michael Jackson destroyed the umbrella industry. His constant use of umbrellas -- even on bright sunny days -- made many people associate the use of umbrellas with whack-o behavior. As a result, many people now go without an umbrella even when it’s pouring down the rain. The National Umbrella Council recommends a long prison term for Michael Jackson.