Things I've learned...

[LOCO]

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Things I've learned from my children (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane)doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.


11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.


22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story:

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,"..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy named Don, raised his hand and said, "I think he said ' Holy cow! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

[IntensityX]

TweetFuck the break fluid,I'm going to mix clorox and ammonia,wish me luck guys hahahahahahahahaha

[LOCO]

Tweethahaha i was thinking about doing it while i was reading... and after i saw #26 i burst out laughing like mad.....

[FUZO]

TweetLETS MAKE SMOKE

[GetnBigr]

Tweet24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story:

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,"..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy named Don, raised his hand and said, "I think he said ' Holy cow! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes



kid's certainly are smart....lol

[O2BESOHUGE]

TweetWHERES 26?

[new231]

Tweetyeah what is 26?

[Speedracer59]

TweetDamn I really was wondering if I had some brake fluid at the house.

[edvedr]

Tweet

Originally posted by IntensityX
Fuck the break fluid,I'm going to mix clorox and ammonia,wish me luck guys hahahahahahahahaha

lol, nice knowing ya dude!!!

[71olds442]

Tweet

Originally posted by LOCO
hahaha i was thinking about doing it while i was reading... and after i saw #26 i burst out laughing like mad.....

i was thinkin the same thing!

[thebody]

TweetLOL dang that was classic LOCO.

[IntensityX]

TweetWell I'm back mixing that stuff,missing an arm and a few internal organs but overall I'm ok lol

[edvedr]

Tweet

Originally posted by IntensityX
Well I'm back mixing that stuff,missing an arm and a few internal organs but overall I'm ok lol

lol, did anyone else get IX's joke

[IntensityX]

Tweet

Originally posted by edvedr
lol, did anyone else get IX's joke

I didn't,would someone please enlighten me

[O2BESOHUGE]

Tweetsomeone post 26 or im gonna go crazy!!

o2