alot of jokes

[jack hust]

TweetNUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead
of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!

As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady
isn't
wearing a seat belt!"

HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom
to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to
my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held
it up and said
with a charming little smile, "We
better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in
the toilet a few days ago.

OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his
teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The
opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily
those of his
parents." KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come outof the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so sheasked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone."It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to hermother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phoneto talk to you right now. She's hitting the
bottle." MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself inthe women's locker room. When he was spotted, the roomburst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels andrunning for cover. The little boy watched in amazementand then asked, "What's the matter haven't you everseen a little boy
before?" POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at anelementary school, I was interrupted by a little girlabout 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform,she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask thepolice. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot towardme, "would you please tie my shoe?" POLICE # 2 It was the en
d of the day when I parked my police vanat the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boystaring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards
theback of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?" ELDERLY While working for an organization that deliverslunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. Thevarious appliances of old age, particularly the canes,walkers, and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her.One day I found her staring at a pair of false teethsoaking in a glass. As I braced myself for theinevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned andwhispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!" DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for aparty. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, shewarne
d, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the nextmorning." DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of hischurch, our minister heard the
intoning of a prayerthat nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his5-year-old son and his playmates had found a deadrobin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed,they had secured a small box and cotton lining, thendug a hole and made ready for the disposal of thedeceased. The minister's son was chosen to say theappropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intonedhis version of what he thought his father
always said:<
/FONT>"Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn....and into the hole he gooooes." SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week ofschool. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "Ican't read, I can't write and they
won't let me talk!" BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He wasfascinated as he fingered through the old pages.Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He pickedup the object and looked at it. What he saw was an oldleaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, heanswered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

[Luftdude]

TweetLmfao

LD

[LOCO]

Tweethehehe those are cute...

[viper10139]

Tweetlol

[71olds442]

Tweethaha this is a follow up on the HONESTY one...

when i was 5, i accidentally brushed my teeth with vagisil.. my mother grabbed it out of my hand and my dad was laughing at me and makin fun of me... then my mother told him i was using his toothbrush!

[warpalien]

Tweethaha