Jokes

ballsmyberries · 07-27-2003, 08:56 AM

When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose?

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together.

Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on
earth.

There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try
Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? .

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under

A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing.

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't!

Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her ass meant 'yes'.

Q: What's the difference between a ***** and a *****?
A: A ***** sleeps with everyone at the party and a ***** sleeps with everyone except you

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.......

Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.

Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives!