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1. "I can't find it."
MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.
2. "That's women's work."
MEANS: It's difficult, dirty, and thankless.
3. "Will you marry me?"
MEANS: Both of my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer,and there's no milk left.
4. "It's a guy thing."
MEANS: There's no rational thought pattern connected with it, And you have no chance at all of making it logical.
5. "Can I help with dinner?"
MEANS: Why isn't it already on the table?
6. "It would take too long to explain."
MEANS: I have no idea how it works.
7. "I'm getting more exercise lately."
MEANS: The batteries in the remote are dead.
8. "We're going to be late."
MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac.
9. "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
MEANS: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
10. "That's interesting dear."
MEANS: Are you still talking?
11. "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again.
12. "You expect too much from me."
MEANS: You expect me to stay awake?
13. "It's really a good movie."
MEANS: It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and half naked women.
14. "You know how bad my memory is."
MEANS: I remember the words to the theme song of Gilligan's Island, the address of the first girl I kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I've every owned, but I forgot your birthday.
MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.
2. "That's women's work."
MEANS: It's difficult, dirty, and thankless.
3. "Will you marry me?"
MEANS: Both of my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer,and there's no milk left.
4. "It's a guy thing."
MEANS: There's no rational thought pattern connected with it, And you have no chance at all of making it logical.
5. "Can I help with dinner?"
MEANS: Why isn't it already on the table?
6. "It would take too long to explain."
MEANS: I have no idea how it works.
7. "I'm getting more exercise lately."
MEANS: The batteries in the remote are dead.
8. "We're going to be late."
MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac.
9. "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
MEANS: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
10. "That's interesting dear."
MEANS: Are you still talking?
11. "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again.
12. "You expect too much from me."
MEANS: You expect me to stay awake?
13. "It's really a good movie."
MEANS: It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and half naked women.
14. "You know how bad my memory is."
MEANS: I remember the words to the theme song of Gilligan's Island, the address of the first girl I kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I've every owned, but I forgot your birthday.