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Divorce - Tell me...

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  • Divorce - Tell me...

    For those of you who got divorced,

    Why did you get divorced? What could have prevented it? What would you have done differently?

    As the product of a divorce - and with no plans to ever marry, I am interested in hearing how you think you could have done things differently to produce a different outcome.

    Would you have not gotten married so young? Married for different reasons?

    talk to me people.

  • #2
    Re: Divorce - Tell me...

    I should not have married someone 6 yrs younger than me while I was only 24, thus making her 18. We lasted just over 2 yrs before divorcing. I was ready but she was not. We're still distant friends though.
    Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. George Washington

    I do not condone the use of, nor do I use anabolic or androgenic steroids. My participation on these boards is for informational purposes only. I have done extensive research of AAS and enjoy discussing them for role playing enjoyment.

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    • #3
      Re: Divorce - Tell me...

      I better stay out of this thread.

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      • #4
        Re: Divorce - Tell me...

        But sugar i thought we were getting married? What a way to tell me.

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        • #5
          Re: Divorce - Tell me...

          timma, that woman that lives in your house seems to be wearing my ring then.

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          • #6
            Re: Divorce - Tell me...

            shhhhhhh it's all lies.

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            • #7
              Re: Divorce - Tell me...

              SugarBaby,
              I can't speak from 'myself' getting a divorce. However my my parents did, and now that I'm older, I can look back and see exactly what happened and that it could have definitely been prevented. Unlike most people with divorced parents, I 'wanted' to know what was going on, so I could keep it from happening to me.
              The main problem was interaction. There Must be a Great level of respect in a household. Every home is different, but still, there must always be a team atmosphere, with one person being the leader/decsionmaker. Now that my mother is married, she looks to my stepfather to lead, serve, protect, and love her. She is a Very, Very strong woman, but when he's around, he treats her with such kindness, and showers her with respect. That's what a woman wants to fall in love with. My biological father came from a tough household and only knew how to 'Control', not how to lead. So my mother resented him for that. A real man knows how to be in control, without controlling. Being equally yoked is also a major role. It certainly helps when the two of you have the same religious beliefs. A lot of times, something like that can really tear at a relationship.
              I think with a respectful man and woman, a household can survive on love. But w/out respect, it cannot survive on love alone. I personally am a Christian, and believe that the family must answer to the Lord and from there, they can at least have someone to lean on and a guideline of getting through tough times. I'm not sure if you started this thread b/c you are going through a divorce, but I hope that's not the case. If it is, keep it in your prayers and God will walk you through it. I hope this helps a little bit, but, that's my story, along with some lessons I've learned through the years......Shiner
              Any and all views expressed by the screen name Shiner22nd are entirely fictional and are intended for entertainment and/or educational purposes only. This person in no way condones or supports the use of Anabolic Steroids and/or medical substances without the legal consent from his or her doctor.

              That being said.......

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              • #8
                Re: Divorce - Tell me...

                Know the person very well before getting into it and don't think things will change after you get married or that you can change that person. If you don't like too many things that person does or something about them, move on. Don't get married too young give yourself a chance to experience life, and if your a girl don't get all caught up in the hype of marriage just because everybody else is doing it. I have seen many young women jump from boy to boy if one dumps them they feel they have to get another bf real fast. Why not be the woman you can be and get a career and find yourself without having to use man as a crutch. I see alot of younger women doing this and also with having babys.

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                • #9
                  Re: Divorce - Tell me...

                  Great advice Mick....I've seen many of those types, myself. They're a dime a dozen...Shiner
                  Any and all views expressed by the screen name Shiner22nd are entirely fictional and are intended for entertainment and/or educational purposes only. This person in no way condones or supports the use of Anabolic Steroids and/or medical substances without the legal consent from his or her doctor.

                  That being said.......

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Divorce - Tell me...

                    I'm divorced. My divorce happened because of several reasons.

                    1. I got married when I was 18 years old. Had my first kid at 19 and then another at 21. Had to do a lot of growing up really fast. Never had a chance to go and screw off and hang like all my friends who weren't married. Felt like I was always missing out on life. Never really had the chance to be a grown up kid (a.k.a. a irresponsibily dope.)

                    2. I was broke. Ran into some serious financial blunders throughout my marriage. My ex-wife was in charge of the finances and she sucked at it! We always were in debt. Even though I tried to stash cash for our "rainy" day - it seemed like it was always phucking raining. We living paycheck to paycheck and it sucked.

                    3. I was a *****. Started messing around on my wife within a year of getting married. Eventually, towards the end of our marriage I was banging everything that moved. I was so bad. I'm ashamed of myself. Within the last two years, I got really involved with two other women and it lead me to my marital end.

                    So after all the stuff that had happened in my life - I woke up one morning and decided that I just wanted to walk away from my miserable life. So I left and we got a divorce.

                    Now, in hindsight, I made a huge phucking mistake in getting divorced. The divorce killed my relationship with my kids. They really don't care much for me anymore - can't blame them because I was a total shit for leaving them.

                    I was a ***** mongering son of a ***** for cheating on my wife. I had a woman who loved me and I pissed it all away just for some strange ass. But I've come to learn from my mistakes.

                    My ex still spends a shit ton of money on stupid shit and that's just in her nature. Can't break that but that's not my problem now. The biggest regret was losing my kids. I've lost 6 years of their lives now. Watching them grow, and I miss being a father.

                    Luckily, I've learned from my blunders and I have been blessed with a beautiful new wife and I'll never make the same mistakes again. We plan on having kids before too long and eventually I'll get to be a father again. I will never cheat again. That's a vow I've taken and will go to the grave with. It causes too much hurt, pain, guilt and anguish.

                    Okay, enough from me.

                    IG

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                    • #11
                      Re: Divorce - Tell me...

                      IRON GOOK,
                      I can relate to that. When I was 18, I cheated on my girlfriend with a long time friend/infatuation. All we did was kiss, but it still killed my conscious. She found out and it killed our relationship. It just turned into all sex (damn good sex, too), jealousy, dishonesty, anger, and just all around screwed us up. Now, i'm 24, and since 18 have turned around and have sworn never again. She gave me a ring when I graduated high school and to keep from ever forgetting those consequences, I still wear it today and always will. But hey, at 18, very few are ready for that kind of commitment. I'm glad to hear that you have moved and have a second chance. It's always tough when there were childern involved in the first marriage, but keep loving and supporting them. Peace bro...Shiner
                      Any and all views expressed by the screen name Shiner22nd are entirely fictional and are intended for entertainment and/or educational purposes only. This person in no way condones or supports the use of Anabolic Steroids and/or medical substances without the legal consent from his or her doctor.

                      That being said.......

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Divorce - Tell me...

                        I am not about to get into this here... Maybe you, GP, and I can discuss it over coffee.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Divorce - Tell me...

                          I don't know that I would have done anything different. In my situation, we dated for a little over a year and thought I knew her. I knew that her family was full of issues but she seemed somewhat normal. She had two jobs, was outgoing and seemed to really have a good head on her shoulders. Approx. a year after we were married though, she got very lazy, got hooked on pills, went to rehab and stayed clean for about a month or so then went back to the pills. She lied constantly, and come to find out was cheating on me with some low life that was getting her whatever drug she wanted. I stuck it out and we lasted 5 years but I couldn't handle it anymore and had to bail.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Divorce - Tell me...

                            Originally posted by HungarianBeast
                            I am not about to get into this here... Maybe you, GP, and I can discuss it over coffee.
                            :p deal


                            Thanks for your input, everyone.

                            IG - I hope someday you are able to restore a realtionship with your kids. I finally had to forgive my dad for cheating on my mom - though he never asked for that forgiveness, I knew I couldn't hang on to that grief forever.

                            Shiner - sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck in finding the right Christian lady for you! Thankfully, I am not going through a divorce, but it seems like every relationship around me is on the outs, so I thought I would post this to hear some view points.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Divorce - Tell me...

                              kite - did she do drugs before you were married?

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