things women never say

[pudgy]

Tweet1) I think belching is really sexy.

2) Sure, I'd love for us to have three-way sex with my best friend.

3) Why don't you go out with your friends to see the strippers
tonight?

4) I could never be with any other man, but I don't mind at all if you see other women.

5) I insist that you always put your mother before me.

6) I love a good blunt after sex.

7) I think we should spend our life savings and buy a big bass boat.

8) The smell of oil and gas makes me horny. Let's do it on the
workbench.

9) That porn star Dixie Dynamite sounds like one heads-up chick. I wish I could meet her one day.

10) It's so romantic when you pull out and cum on my back.

11) Let's skip that stage show with Mel Gibson and go watch the Tyson fight at a bar.

12) Hey, we didn't have sex last night!

13) That shirt doesn't smell bad enough to need washing. Wear it
again today.

14) Your buddies tell the best stories. I could listen to them all day.

15) You don't curse enough.

16) I love it when you finger me while you drive.

17) Let's stay at that dirty, old motel on the highway. It's cheaper and we can spend the money we save on beer.

18) Don't fix the toilet, I'll just keep going in the bushes outside.

19) Sure, you can wear your old adidas boots at our wedding. They go with anything.

20) Sleeping with all the guys on the softball team doesn't make that girl a slut! She's just really friendly.

21) I farted again. Lift the covers so we can smell it.

22) Don't dirty a knife or fork, eat with your hands like me.

23) Oh yeah, any hole you want.

[morbid316]

Tweetif i could find a woman like that i would get married for sure:p

[Blackfoot]

Tweetlmfao

[gongshow]

Tweetany hole you want...haha, thats the best one

[skinnyhb]

Tweet21 is freakin hilarious

[bigpimpc]

TweetIt's so romantic when you pull out and cum on my back.

bahahahahaa!

[rado]

Tweet23 is a classic for me