enjoying a poo poo

[ByRoN]

Tweeti think i like taking them at work better than at home! anyone else like this?

[mick-G]

TweetYour are right, you must be drinking, lol!

[SMILEY FACE]

Tweetu sick...i like taking em at home.......and like mick g said: u must be

[daved150]

Tweetyea, your way too excited about work poo-poo for me...i'm more of a home guy (besides, thats were my muscular devel. mag is!!!)

[Testify]

TweetThere's no place like home.

[BIGMOFO]

Tweethome if I can!

[Symbolic]

TweetHere's my take on the work poo...Enjoy LOL!!!
HOW TO POO AT WORK
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in
>our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we
try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POO is inevitable. For those
who hate pooing at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump
at work.

CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your
area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be
careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled.
Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and check for
other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back
again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become
suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in
a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If
you release an ESCAPEE, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If
you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear
it. No one likes an ESCAPEE. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a
joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK
When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is
usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do
not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare
everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the water. This
reduces the amount of air time the poo has to stink up the bathroom. This
can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk
up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in
and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that
the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER
A colleague who poos at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an
OUT OF THE CLOSET enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his
or her arm. Always look around the office for the OUT
OF THE CLOSET POOER before entering the bathroom.

THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
A group of co-workers, typically women, who band together to ensure
emergency pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to
monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOERS, and identify SAFE
HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect
visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will
reduce the odds of a pooer of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force
the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that
can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs, remain in
the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all
uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in
a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential
TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are
occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If
you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the
pooer can poo in peace.

WATERMELON
A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also
an embarrassing incident. If you feel a watermelon coming on, create a
diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET
A case of diarrhea that creates series of loud splashes in the toilet water.
Often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended
lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED
makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should
always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as
the other bathroom attendees.

[SMILEY FACE]

Tweetraven, U NEED MENTAL HELP

[Symbolic]

TweetI thought the Camo-cough was especially funny....

[Symbolic]

TweetMikey, I don't need mental help, I need your triceps!!!!! They are gigantic!!

[ByRoN]

Tweetall he works out his his tri raven lol!!!

[daved150]

Tweetthanks for the advise raven..your are a wise man in the matters of the poo!!(the astair with a camo-cough, thats great).

[FUZO]

TweetHAD THEM ALL,I USUALY CROP DUST AT THE GYM

[daved150]

Tweethey, was'nt byron the same guy who asked you, fuzo- to see how many craps we took a day??? man, i think my boy byron may be somekind of scat freak!!!

[SMILEY FACE]

Tweet

Mikey, I don't need mental help, I need your triceps!!!!! They are gigantic!!

lol, guess what, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo