TweetThat is awesome! *lol* I am not Italian but I have a lot of friends that are.
TweetTo all my Italian friends and family, and a few who are not - enjoy!
...and if you re from Brooklyn, New Jursey, or Long Eyeland,
you ll really appreciate this!
Eye-Talian
Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
Because Italians hate all witnesses.
Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony?
On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said - TO NY.
You know you're Italian when . . . . You can bench press 325 pounds,
shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit
two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles
into a regular lunch bag.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant,
travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block.
All five of those cousins are named after your
grandfather or grandmother.
You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9",
it is presumed his Mother had an affair.
There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when . . .
Your grandfather had a fig tree.
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.
Christmas Eve . . . only fish.
Your mom's meatballs are the best.
You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.
Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.
You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella."
You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy."
You've called someone a "mamaluke."
And you understand "bada bing".
GO GATORS!!!
TweetThat is awesome! *lol* I am not Italian but I have a lot of friends that are.
TweetBTW - it's ALWAYS gravy, never sauce.
Never put butter on bread.
Never cut the bread with a knife (break it).
Macaroni is served last in the meal (meat first).
I'm German/Russian, my wife's side of the family is Italian (Brooklyn) and the above are a few mistakes I made when I went to dinner to meet the family for the first time.
And I slid off the furniture three times!
So be sure that you are makin the best of what that you have
the truth is all within yourself
Tweetthats all too familiar with me, my mothers side is all italian and my wife is 100% italian. GOD forbid someone miss pronounces manicotti or ricotta they will be shot on spot!!!!
TweetHell, my mother's stepfather was Italian and my mother cooks Italian alot. But I'm not Italian, I'm part Basque, part German and a few others that currently slip my mind.
LD
RIP Gearedup and Marc. I'll see you at the crossroads someday guys
Zero to 60 in under 7 seconds. One, two, three, four, five, six, sev-that fast=AMC AMX ad from 1968
chris_93_jeep@msn.com
mod @ garageboard.com
Tweetlol they are all true, jersey boy here, family gatherings, minimum of 50 people or then it 's just a spur of the moment get together
It amazes me today when I speak to friends and such and they are not close too cousins and such, it is so foreign to me
Forgot one thing, everyone knows everyone's business and has something too say about it, lol
the good old days
one other, children can drink wine as long as it's diluted with plenty of water
Tweetvafacule!!!!!! This isnt true!!!!
im going to cry to my nona now!
three doodoo is back! Hide your women!
TweetI love the fact that Homer saying that...:pOriginally posted by Calipso
From the Simpsons....
Kent: Um... did I say killer dolphins, I meant... killer... Italians! Grey, bottlenosed, intelligent Italians.
Homer: Intelligent Italians? Something's wrong.
I HATE ITALIANS FROM QUEBEC!!!!
they should all go back to "Italia" cant stand them.
Wait, my driver license says... nevermind
three doodoo is back! Hide your women!
TweetVERY GOOD
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TweetQ. How is the Italian version of Christmas different?
A. One Mary, one Jesus, and 32 Wise guys.
Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs?
A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."
TweetWhy do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
Because Italians hate all witnesses.
I AGREE! THAT WHY WE HAVE LA OMERTA!
Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony? On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said - TO NY.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ONE GOING TO THE FAKE AMERICA? CANADA?
You know you're Italian when . . . . You can bench press 325 pounds,
shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.
HMMM SNACKS
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
THEY USED TO BE, UNTIL I TESTIFIED AGAINST THEM!
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block.
All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.
NOPE!
You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
NOT YET!
If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.
SO YOU SAYING MY ...... DIO CANE!!!!!!!
There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
WE LL SEEEEEEEE
You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
79 234.87$ (AT THE TIME THE CANADIAN $ WAS WORTH MORE THAN THE US)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when . . .
Your grandfather had a fig tree.
nope!
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.
AND AGAIN AT 6 :d
Christmas Eve . . . only fish.
NOPE
Your mom's meatballs are the best.
SIIIIIIIIII
You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.
YEP!
Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.
NOPE, BUT HAVE MARBLE, CERAMIC AND OAK ALL ACCROSS THE HOUSE!
You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella."
SOUNDS LIKE MY FAMILY NAME ANYWAY!
You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy."
I DONT
You've called someone a "mamaluke."
NOT RECENTLY!
And you understand "bada bing".
SOMETIMES
three doodoo is back! Hide your women!
Tweetsorry i ahve to shave every morning
The Don Juan of Fitness Geared
njjuiceer@cyber-rights.net
Csecratary fo Staet for Natoinla Decauation