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when and how

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  • when and how

    when is a good time to meet a persons kid that you are dating and how should one go about doing this to where they don't freak the person they are dating? like i want her to know that i am cool with her having a kid and also that i don't mind if she brought her along and we hung out!!!

  • #2
    Re: when and how

    I'd probably just say something in conversation and let her know that I was cool with it and leave the rest up to her. You don't want to put her on the spot, just let her know that you like kids or whatever and when she's comfortable with the idea of you guys hanging out together she'll bring her along. You gotta remember though, her being attached to you and her kid getting attached to you are two totally different things. The potential of getting hurt in a relationship is bad enough, but if it's your kid........ you get the point.

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    • #3
      Re: when and how

      Question related to this topic of meeting another person's kid(s). What is the limmit of children can the other person have in order for you to date them? For me I wouldn't date a girl who's had 2 or more kids with different dads. What about you guys and gals think?
      NO PAIN, NO GAIN
      KNOW PAIN, KNOW GAIN





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      • #4
        Re: when and how

        o hell naw one kid uless she was in a long marriage

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        • #5
          Re: when and how

          I don't know, I guess it would depend on the girl. Angelina Jolie could have 10 and I don't think that would stop me.

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          • #6
            Re: when and how

            BYRON, DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY...BUT YOU NEED TO BOW OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP. YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO, YOUR NOT READY TO SETTLE DOWN WITH THIS LADY AND HER KID. DONT LET THE KID GET ATTACHED TO YOU IF YOUR NOT SERIOUS OR I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT YOU DOWN AND BEAT YOU SENSELESS!!

            O2
            ..“Your desire to change must be greater than your desire to stay the same.”





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            • #7
              Re: when and how

              yeah dont get the kid attatched...i was that kid before and it aint pretty
              Cranks my brother from another mother!

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              • #8
                Re: when and how

                Bryon, O2 is right you are not ready for this kind of relationship, and to involve a child when you yourself have not yet reached maturity mentally is very childish. I don't mean this to be a flame, but you have to look beyond just the looks in a woman and take a hard look at yourself. You are very young and would be better suited with a woman who has no children. Don't think that just because you try to involve a child to getting to like you that this woman may get closer to you and maybe you can do more of what you what with her. It would be very wrong and subject her and her kid to alot of pain later. This may not be your intension, but from you prior posts this is the impression i get.

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                • #9
                  Re: when and how

                  no guys your wrong and i like the imput i am not trying ot get close to the child to get closer to her mom i really like this girl and i really enjpy being with her i am sorry that you guys feel that i am trying ot do that from other post but thats not it at all!!! thats why i still ahvn't met the baby yet i was just wondering on when a good time was

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                  • #10
                    Re: when and how

                    yeah bro listen to mickg, u ain't ready yet for that type of relationship, i still have a long life in front of u

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                    • #11
                      Re: when and how

                      Ok, Bro i give you break, lol! Maybe you are not the person you are on here? Are you? Things to think about: Do you have good income to support her and the child?, are you sure she is the only one for you, remember you are young and have many choices out there, don't do this if you think that this is a way for you to prove yourself and are a mature person, as it is not fair to yourself or this woman and child. Anyway, if you are very serious about her, and i mean marriage serious and sincere with yourself that she is the one for you and you will take the time for her and her child; I mean not going out with the boys if it means taking responsibility, then yes tell this woman that you would like to get to know her child (boy or girl?) and also tell this woman how you feel about her. She may not even know your full intensions of what the relationship is and if it is going anywhere. I am sure that she wants to make very sure that this relationship is sincere and serious before introducing this child to you. I found out that women like it when you are very honest with them and not afraid to tell them how you feel. This is the only way to open up to her and reassure her that you mean business. Trust me Byron it works.

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                      • #12
                        Re: when and how

                        I personally don't know you Byron. But I kind of agree with everyone else here. But only you would know where you are in life. What I mean is, ask yourself a question. Are you ready to settle down? Do you have an intention to settle down with this woman if she turns out to be wonderful? Or if another hottie comes along, would you dump her in a NY minute? When a woman lets you meet her kid, it's a BIG step for her. Single moms are a rare breed in most cases. They're worse than a Lion when it comes to protecting their kids. So if a woman invites you into her childs life, she's serious. You need to be sure you're serious too. If it's a piece of ass you're after, move on. There's much less vulnerable women out there to meet. But once she introduces you to her kid, you've almost taken a next step.
                        “I don't look ahead... I keep focused on my next opponent. I am looking forward to my next opponent, I don't think past that point.”
                        --Manny Pacquiao



                        Big Mike's speach to Congress telling them to phuque off on the steroid ban:

                        http://www.moviewavs.com/0049230534/...y/statemnt.mp3





                        Fitnessgeared's resident Smart ass

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                        • #13
                          Re: when and how

                          Wondering...is this the Hooters girl?

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                          • #14
                            Re: when and how

                            Originally posted by kite
                            I don't know, I guess it would depend on the girl. Angelina Jolie could have 10 and I don't think that would stop me.
                            That's the truth baby! I wouldn't settle down with her but the number of kids wouldn't bother me when it comes to hooking up. Even though it'll never happen that's how I'd approach it.

                            Byron,

                            Ok, your situation is more difficult. Do you really want to go the distance with this one? I'd try to get as much time with you and her before bringing the daughter into it. Two of the girls I respected the most from my dating years were these two girls who both had one child each and they wouldn't introduce them to anyone they dated until it started to get serious. This way they didn't have to worry about upsetting their children when they told them Jonny wont be coming around anymore. I respect it because I really like kids and I'm glad that I never formed a bond with those kids before things with us went south. I never even met one of the kids. This girl dated a guy for 2 years before we hung out and he said he didn't meet the kid until they were dating 6 months. 6 months! The reason I respect that is becasue she is protecting herself and her child. How do you tell your child that the person they come to love is no longer going to be coming around. That stuff crushes little kids.

                            I also dated another girl who had 2 children and she had them involved with a lot of stuff we did. It was a sad day when things didn't workout for us. The older one called me on the phone and asked me to please come back becasue she wants me to be her new daddy. That broke my heart and trust me, no man wants to get that call. So play it cool bro.
                            I used to have superhuman powers....until my therapist took them away.

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                            • #15
                              Re: when and how

                              Originally posted by GirlPatriot
                              Being a step-parent is the most difficult thing you could ever do in your lifetime. It is harder than marriage and also makes marriage/relationships harder. The dynamics of it are deeper than you could possibly imagine. Both HB and I know all about it. Make sure that being a father to another man's child is something you are comfortable with. Make sure when you look at that child that you don't resent your gf for having been with another man, because it is a living breathing everyday reminder of that. There are a lot of things to think about, not just whether or not you are ready to meet him/her.
                              ~GP

                              wow yea gp i am starting to understand all of this as me and her are growing closer but i don't look down on her at all for having that little girl shes is VERY VERY responsible and takes well care of her but i don't judge her for her past i enjoy being with her and think that i would enjoy being with her no matter what

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