So the girlfriend found out about the juice this weekend.
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She had actually known for a while but finally called me out. Things went better than I expected.. she told me I don't need to be big for her to love me. I told her it wasn't really about that.. she cried and said she didn't know why I do things that will hurt me. I told her I'm pretty safe and know my stuff.
In the end I told her that the day I proposed to her was the day I quit using the gear. I love my gear, but love my girl more.
I'm glad she knows and I don't have to hide it from her anymore.
RIP BigJim33 & GearedUp: You are sorely missed my friends.
Hindsight is always 20/20. But looking back it's still a bit fuzzy.