Why Parents Drink

[Dzone]

TweetWHY PARENTS DRINK

A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Mom.'

With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and
you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.


But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.



Love,
Your Son ALEX ,

P.S.. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

[3Vandoo]

Tweetif my son would write that ill be proud!

[firstenrgy]

TweetToo funny!

[horsepwr]

Tweetlol...that was good. I knew it had to be bs when it mentioned the little trades of nearby neighbors. You wouldn't throw that in if you wanted your folks to know everything is going to be alright. Great job by that kid though. He made the report card good news no matter what.

[quirkysmilin]

TweetHardyharhar....I still would have killed the kid!! J/K

[TheChosen1]

TweetI remember a joke like that on "Welcome Back, Kotter". Only it was told as a daughter writing her parents as she's away for college. After running down some of the bad news, she ends the letter saying that she met a biker who she was about to marry. But not because she wants to but she "has to".

Then after all is said and done, she explains that all was a lie and the truth is that she's flunking college.

[supasaiyan99]

TweetLOL....hilarious!

[jipped genes]

TweetAHAHA!!!!

[daved150]

Tweetlmao!!!!

[Klash]

TweetThat's awesome.

[Buffgrandpa]

TweetYou are so grounded. If you would put that much effort into English lit. you wouldn't have to hid the report card.