The Biomechanics Of The Bro Hug: How To Hug It Out With Proper Form To Prevent Injury

Sometimes, everything just goes your way. In the immortal words of Ice Cube, today was a good day:

  • You just destroyed numerous PR’s.
  • You woke up after a nice cheat meal feeling full and vascular.
  • An Instagram celebrity liked one of your apartment bathroom selfies.
  • You finally got laid from someone other than Betty Thumb and Her Four Friends.

In these instances all we as men want to do is bask in our triumphant victories by hugging it out with our favorite gym bro… but this could come at a serious price.
DONT LET THIS…

TURN INTO THIS!!!

The act of bro hugging should be taken just as seriously as compound movements such as the deadlift and barbell squat. Without proper form and taking extensive safety measures, you may end up “snapping your shit all up”. After hours of research in my laboratory and numerous discussions with leading kinesiology scientists in the field I have come up with the proper bro hug movement that could not only prevent injury, but to enhance your bro hug experience. Below is the step by step movement process of hugging it out.

    1. Get a running start after making eye contact with your gym bro. ( At this point testosterone should be straight up flowing through your body.)
    2. Protract your scapula by engaging in a concentric contraction of your Serratus Anterior and Pectoralis Minor. This will help you absorb the blow if your gym bro is way bigger than you are. If he is? Shame on you. Get on his level child.
    3. Adduct the shoulders horizontally with contraction of the Pectoralis Major and Anterior Deltoid. Also flex the shit out of your Triceps to reach maximal shoulder and elbow extension. This will help you extend your arms fully and help you wrap your arms around your bro. This should be done with elbows flared out to make it look like your lats are fucking huge.
    4. Pronate your forearm and flex your wrist to engage safety in a testosterone filled bro handshake that is so powerful it will move the needle on the Richter Scale. This may also make any female within a ten mile radius wet and wanting. Studies are still being done on this particular step. Sample picture of proper form from step 4 can be seen below:


Things to consider…

  • Beware of your bro potentially wanting to engage in a 80’s jumping high five hug from the volleyball scene of the movie Top Gun. You will then have to maintain neutral pelvic alignment by contracting your abs and lifting off into the air with flexion of your calves. BE READY FOR THIS
  • BEWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS. Engaging in a bro hug takes up a lot of space and can potentially interfere with gym patrons around you. If this is the case, find a neutral location to unleash the fury.
  • TRUST YOUR GYM BRO. The aggressive nature of the bro hug is not for the novice gym goer. Make sure your buddy knows your bro hug style so your hug doesn’t turn into a full blown gym brawl that could ruin potential gainzZz.

To sum it all up…

The Bro Hug is not for everybody. It is a maneuver that can only be carried out by the most experienced of gym goers. Taking part in this action without wearing the proper equipment, stretching beforehand, and not watching the Rocky 4 training scene, you will most likely snap your shit all up. Properly moving through the 4 steps of instruction and taking certain aspects into consideration, your bro hug experience will be pleasant and a natural testosterone booster.