I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
My wife got it for me for our anniversary in November as I am adopted and have no idea about my biological fam. (My family is my family without a doubt of what I find biologically on this site.)
I did it. I was so exited to get answers, medical history, meet kin, see where I came from (heritage), brothers/sisters, ect. As an adoptee I have always had had this little hole of doubt in me from it. It is like a little cut in a bad place that never heals.
I say that to say this. I found my biological mom and a half sister that were matches. People, I felt such joy in my heart that I cannot put it into words. I reached out via direct message on the site and got a reply from first my bio sis and then bio mom.
They want nothing to do with me, They chastised me for linking my profile with theirs without their permission. They told me I was causing problems for them and ruining her mom's, reputation and was causing them great grief and they went to great lengths to create their family tree and do not want me ruining it. The sis said i was upsetting her mom so much that I should get off ancestry all together.
I closed my acct as it hit me like a ton of bricks. I guess I got my hopes up too much.
I want to message them and tell them whether they like it or not I am part of that family tree no matter how inconvenient. But forcing myself into a situation where I am unwanted does nothing for any of any of us.
What to do? The whole reason I did it (Even though I hate the fact my DNA is now on file, insert conspiracy theory here) is to get answers. I guess I will get no answers, closure, pictures, stories, history..................
I am super bummed out.
What do y'all think?
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
fuck em man. take a special kind of piece of trash to cast off their own children for starters. that is probably the lowest of low. i can see giving up a child for adoption if your cant take care of them or if you straight up dont want to have children. that way at least they will be taken care of and maybe have a family that will love and treat them as their own.
the trade off is you need some indication of medical conditions and other health stuff from your actual family. that's always a good thing to know and have access to. i hate to hear that you are going through that stuff man. that's brutal and a hard pill to swallow but at least you have a real family that cares about you and you are a part of. keep your head up and just roll along like you never knew them any way
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
Damn, that blows. Sorry to hear that they acted like that. Sounds like youre better off not having anything to do with those people. Like guns says, at least you can check up on your disease history.
I did ancestry dot com and I guess it was okay. Kind of interesting but I could have done without it. I did find out I didnt have any american indian, which was a rumor in our family for decades. Found out it was totally false.. Of course everybody thinks they have american indian blood. Well, I dont lol
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
bro that sucks. i am like guns fuck them.. at the end of the day you didnt ask to be born. dont why they put you up for adoption... a very good friend of mine his dad cheated on his wife and my good friend was the reasult. his real dad took good care of him but he wasnt allowed at the old man's house. his dad had a huge farm down here and he went to work out there after high school along with me. the old man was cool. a few years ago he got sick and was in the hospital and he passed his wife didnt care for my friend being there i told him fuck her thats your dad...
things like this suck.. get your history like you want then fuck them there loss...
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
family stands by you no matter what kinda sh!t it is. the hate you feel hit the weights or spare or whatever you quadruple million centurion black belts do and then fvck your girl silly. if you made it this far in life without them, then you don't need them. Invite that in your life you are inviting trouble for you and your lovies. don't let this shit get to your head. if that's their reaction block them from your mind. you are your own man. forgiveness? fuck that. they suck.
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
Damn that sucks bro. Sorry to hear you're going through that man. I agree with everyone else, fuck 'em. If they don't want you to be part of the picture, then that's their loss. The benefit from the whole experience is learning your health history and such. That's always good to know. Keep your head up brotha. They're the ones missing out.
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
that's kinda chicken shit!! but before their your family their people.. and people are pretty stupid a lot of the time. sure its a shame but really if you think about it.. no loss no gain, your still you and they lost out on meeting you. fvckem..
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
Thanks y'all. I have a pretty damn good life without them so that is OK.
I did re-open my acct to show my sis (Also adopted) my ethnicity
I am 63% eastern European Russian and Ukrainian, 36&% English Scottish and 1% Germanic.
While I was there I saw my inbox with 2 messages. I thought maybe my bio mom and or sis wanted to communicate.
NOPE! I HAVE TWO HALF BROTHERS ON MY DAD'S SIDE!
They found me and I spoke to them last night on the phone. they live in NM, ride motorcycles, love to workout, they are both avid outdoors-men, both of them are bald like me! We shared pics of our fams and I can see the resemblance.
Although I am the smallest one. We have diff moms obviously and they got the "big" genes. Mine are jipped but that is OK. They both are pudgy. Both have sons MY SON's AGE! One is married the other divorced.
THIS IS CRAZY! I AM YELLING! I BARELY SLEPT AT ALL LAST NIGHT!
I have forgotten about bio mom and sis.
THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!
I HAVE BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jipped genes
Thanks y'all. I have a pretty damn good life without them so that is OK.
I did re-open my acct to show my sis (Also adopted) my ethnicity
I am 63% eastern European Russian and Ukrainian, 36&% English Scottish and 1% Germanic.
While I was there I saw my inbox with 2 messages. I thought maybe my bio mom and or sis wanted to communicate.
NOPE! I HAVE TWO HALF BROTHERS ON MY DAD'S SIDE!
They found me and I spoke to them last night on the phone. they live in NM, ride motorcycles, love to workout, they are both avid outdoors-men, both of them are bald like me! We shared pics of our fams and I can see the resemblance.
Although I am the smallest one. We have diff moms obviously and they got the "big" genes. Mine are jipped but that is OK. They both are pudgy. Both have sons MY SON's AGE! One is married the other divorced.
THIS IS CRAZY! I AM YELLING! I BARELY SLEPT AT ALL LAST NIGHT!
I have forgotten about bio mom and sis.
THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!
I HAVE BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now that's pretty freaking cool man. i am sure with my sleeze bag of a dad i have tons of random siblings running around that i dont know about. he is still married to my mom but was a long distance trucker for about 90% of my growing up. so probably not a good idea for me to do one of those things. probably get him into even more trouble than he did while i was growing up haha
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jipped genes
Thanks y'all. I have a pretty damn good life without them so that is OK.
I did re-open my acct to show my sis (Also adopted) my ethnicity
I am 63% eastern European Russian and Ukrainian, 36&% English Scottish and 1% Germanic.
While I was there I saw my inbox with 2 messages. I thought maybe my bio mom and or sis wanted to communicate.
NOPE! I HAVE TWO HALF BROTHERS ON MY DAD'S SIDE!
They found me and I spoke to them last night on the phone. they live in NM, ride motorcycles, love to workout, they are both avid outdoors-men, both of them are bald like me! We shared pics of our fams and I can see the resemblance.
Although I am the smallest one. We have diff moms obviously and they got the "big" genes. Mine are jipped but that is OK. They both are pudgy. Both have sons MY SON's AGE! One is married the other divorced.
THIS IS CRAZY! I AM YELLING! I BARELY SLEPT AT ALL LAST NIGHT!
I have forgotten about bio mom and sis.
THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!
I HAVE BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man that's great. Congratulations.
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
guns, you should try it. CRAZY!
My younger bro rides motorcycles as well. He is going for a ride on the trans continental highway this summer. My bike is too aggressive for a long ride but he said "come on, let's ride and get to know each other"
This is amazing! Older bro is a big time hunter. I am not much of a hunter but would love to go. They are about 4 hours from my aunt and uncle's house on my mom's side. (I will say bio mom if it is that one, mom is my real mom/dad who adopted me)
We all have different moms and as one may expect they are not close with their dads. still this is so cool
Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jipped genes
guns, you should try it. CRAZY!
My younger bro rides motorcycles as well. He is going for a ride on the trans continental highway this summer. My bike is too aggressive for a long ride but he said "come on, let's ride and get to know each other"
This is amazing! Older bro is a big time hunter. I am not much of a hunter but would love to go. They are about 4 hours from my aunt and uncle's house on my mom's side. (I will say bio mom if it is that one, mom is my real mom/dad who adopted me)
We all have different moms and as one may expect they are not close with their dads. still this is so cool
Very cool to see this turned out on a positive note!
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Re: I said I would never do the ancestry dna thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jipped genes
guns, you should try it. CRAZY!
My younger bro rides motorcycles as well. He is going for a ride on the trans continental highway this summer. My bike is too aggressive for a long ride but he said "come on, let's ride and get to know each other"
This is amazing! Older bro is a big time hunter. I am not much of a hunter but would love to go. They are about 4 hours from my aunt and uncle's house on my mom's side. (I will say bio mom if it is that one, mom is my real mom/dad who adopted me)
We all have different moms and as one may expect they are not close with their dads. still this is so cool
you seem really psyched and maybe even happy lol That's awesome bro and def very cool. You should go meet them man.
