Whos ever shit in the woods

I was 18yrs old just got my hair cut and Blown dry by my stylist because I was going to some girls Prom. On the way home I felt like I had to shit. Well it started to get worse I stopped by 2 friends houses and no one was home so I said I can make it. Well I got to the road to cross to go to my house but was behind 2 cars and the road was busy. I was getting the feeling worse I had to dump. Well I pulled over to the side of the road and ran about 50 feet to the biggest tree I was wearing blue silk Mickey Mouse shorts oh the were my favorite so soft on the jewels so I pulled down my paints took a shit while people watching and if ya know me I dont give a fukand I took off 1 sock wiped my ass walked back to the car. Got home took a bath just to freshen up didnt want to shower just got my hair done and Prom I went. True Story

lol, number 1 plenty of times, but number 2 nope... unless there was an old out house near

Fuk it. Gotta go, gotta go. Been there done that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Uncle Ric

Fuk it. Gotta go, gotta go. Been there done that.

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yup

My wife will kill if she finds out I posted this. I think it was our 5th date. We had drank 3-4 20oz coffees and it has a tendency to give her the squirts. I had to pull over at the local farmers market, it was night and closed. So she leaned against the dumpster and [emoji90]. She used my socks (better than nothing) to wipe.
I knew at that point I was going to bump her or marry her.....LMAO!

Been there too lol. Camping with one of my ex's and took a hike to go fishing. Sure enough... that familiar gurgle pain. Had to sneak off and make sure she wasn't down wind haha.

Train till your eyes bleed!

their is no holding it back once it is in the breech

Been there done that many of times that's why I always wear to pairs of socks

I was hunting with my uncle it was 30 degrees and I had on my new camo coveralls. I was 14-15 and we ate chili and me and my cousin drank half the night away. we rode most of the way to the deer stand on the 3 wheeler. I had it hit like a hammer so I tried to make it back to the 3 wheeler to go to the camper. Could not make it. So I pulled down my coveralls and my pants and leaned against a tree and let go. I cut off my underwear to wipe with. I walked back in the cold wind feeling better.

I got in the stand and my uncle said "damn boy you stink, did ya step in it?"

NOPE! I had unknowingly crapped down the back of my coveralls and put them back on. My back was covered in runny shit. We left my jacket and my coveralls there and I rode back on the three wheeler thinking I would die of the cold. Never told my folks.