Scared....point me to resources

My 17 year old daughter started suffering anxiety and depression issues this fall that have become very debilitating for her. She is a good student A's with some B's and loves to play soccer...lettered every year of hs thus far. Her work ethic is great...works hard for grades that don't come easy, works hard at maintaining high fitness level. She is very mature, mentally and very responsible for being 17. The issues are debilitating.....grades still good but withdrawn socially and has dropped every other aspect of enjoyment in her life.

She is in a dark place we can't seem to pull her out of and swings from being happy to completely "locked up with anxiety" unpredictably. We are working with our family doctor and found a good counselor she works well with. The counselor spoke with my wife after my daughters session on Wednesday because of great concern she is contemplating suicide......the 3 of them talked for quite a while and have agreement on how my daughter can ask for help....fortunately she talks very openly with my wife and they have a good relationship.

I am tipped over and scared to death at this point.....next steps are further testing with doctor and more/different meds, I will be at next counseling sessions, we are likely going to have my wife take FMLA so she can be focused on my daughter and/or around home constantly.

What am I missing?

What other resources or steps should we consider?

I need to start learning lots on how to deal with this....recommended reading please??

A heavy subject I know....looking for thoughts and ideas.

Talking to two trusted friends who dealt with very similar issues is giving me some insights, ideas and options.





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Good on you for posting this and seeking out solutions for your daughter. This is an urgent situation and my heart goes out to you guys.
Gosh, teen depression appears to be an epidemic. There was a recent cover on Time magazine about this very issue.
Oftentimes is situational. Its due to some circumstance that they feel they cant control. I am fearful of the influence of the pharmaceutical industry and doctors seeing these problems as a chemical problem. Typically thats the first thing they want to do is get the kids on a prescription med. I dont know what the statistics are for those drugs but I doubt they are doing kids any good. I can understand though how a parent would resort to anything to help their child and people trust their doctor.
Its hard for kids to get perspective at that age and every event can seem cataclysmic to them. You get dumped by your girlfriend/boyfriend and its the end of life as you know it. She an excellent student. Possibly she is overthinking some things. Smart and introspective people can sometimes think themselves into feeling low.
Maybe counseling could help her. Good that you have open communication.
Keep seeking answers and hopefully some people on here with more experience than me can offer some information . Good luck

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Originally Posted by Dzone

Good on you for posting this and seeking out solutions for your daughter. This is an urgent situation and my heart goes out to you guys.
Gosh, teen depression appears to be an epidemic. There was a recent cover on Time magazine about this very issue.
Oftentimes is situational. Its due to some circumstance that they feel they cant control. I am fearful of the influence of the pharmaceutical industry and doctors seeing these problems as a chemical problem. Typically thats the first thing they want to do is get the kids on a prescription med. I dont know what the statistics are for those drugs but I doubt they are doing kids any good. I can understand though how a parent would resort to anything to help their child and people trust their doctor.
Its hard for kids to get perspective at that age and every event can seem cataclysmic to them. You get dumped by your girlfriend/boyfriend and its the end of life as you know it. She an excellent student. Possibly she is overthinking some things. Smart and introspective people can sometimes think themselves into feeling low.
Maybe counseling could help her. Good that you have open communication.
Keep seeking answers and hopefully some people on here with more experience than me can offer some information . Good luck

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Yup...introspective and over thinking is one of my demons...I work things over and over in my head on many sleepless nights....that is a part of it for sure. Couldn't sleep this AM so I wrote this while pre-workout was soaking in and then crushed on my legs and shoulders in the gym....

I too am skeptical about drugs....will be going to future Dr apps to ask hard questions and challenge....her biggest "crash" was about a week into meds. Good friend I am talking to took homeopathic route with their daughter to success in a very similar situation.

I read the Time article...was very interesting/accurate...one of the first things the counselor did was get my daughter to take long breaks from her iPhone....she puts it down after school and gets 30min around 8pm....

Thanks for the thoughts brother...



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Originally Posted by J F T

Yup...introspective and over thinking is one of my demons...I work things over and over in my head on many sleepless nights....that is a part of it for sure. Couldn't sleep this AM so I wrote this while pre-workout was soaking in and then crushed on my legs and shoulders in the gym....

I too am skeptical about drugs....will be going to future Dr apps to ask hard questions and challenge....her biggest "crash" was about a week into meds. Good friend I am talking to took homeopathic route with their daughter to success in a very similar situation.

I read the Time article...was very interesting/accurate...one of the first things the counselor did was get my daughter to take long breaks from her iPhone....she puts it down after school and gets 30min around 8pm....

Thanks for the thoughts brother...



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Wow JFT, so very sorry to hear this. I feel this is such a hard age as I believe it is a way different world then we were young. So much more pressure. I think our first thought, as parents, is where did we go wrong? Second guessing so many thing. Well that just zaps our energy and focus. None of the past we can change but going forward do things different. It is a big plus, imo, that she is talking to you both about this. Reaching out is the hardest part. I can imagine how scared you must feel. Therapy is such a good thing and it is freaking the hardest cause there are things can can surface that you may have never know. It is painful sometimes but it is where it has to go to grow and heal.

I certainly cannot would not tell you what is right or wrong because those are 2 words I thing are nonsense.

I think as much time as can be spent with her, right now, would be the best.

Does she have a pet? I firmly believe that a service animal can be SO helpful in these emotional states. You hear about it and see it more and I personally say it is a positive. It doesn't necessarily have to be a service animal but a pet of some kind that is just hers to care for a love.

I think its is also important for us to be teaching our kids healthy coping skills. I can tell you if it weren't for music I don't know where I would be. What does she like to do that brings her joy?

I also feel it is essential for parents . themselves, to get some kind of help to work through this in a healthy supportive way too. Parents need to remain as a team whether they are married or not.

One more thing that I find helpful, and something my Mom taught me many years ago. Writing down feelings on paper is a good way to get shit out. It maybe be something one ends up sharing or not. When I do it, I do not send it but it is a release.

I could go on and on but i will stop there. I speak from the heart here....

I will you all the strength to get through this. Flow what your heart feels, and as you may ask for advice, dont let it cloud your thinking. take what you will from others or take nothing at all.

Give her lots of hugs.

keep us posted:)

One more thing...as you may want to respond in a certain way, always VALIDATE her feeling whether you like them or not.

Our 1 yr old lab is a godsend...when she is really crashing hard she is usually sitting quietly with him

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Brother, that is a horrible thing to see your child go through.

professional help works. counselors and medical doctors. My nephew had bad depression, they put him on all sorts of drugs. they found a doc that specialized in depression/ anxiety in young people, they just googled it. he did a blood panel and found my nephew was SUPER low in D3 as well as a few other factors that a normal doc would miss. he is not 100% but he was able to come off many of the drugs and is a new kid.

I truly wish the best for you and her. will keep y'all in my prayers for what that is worth.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22372707

Huge thanks...will spend some time on Google tonight

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Figured I'd offer an update....

Found an adolescent depression and anxiety specialist. We've done some blood work and progressed to the 2nd step of her plan of attack for meds and seem to have some success. My daughter has strung together almost a week of "up" days...a combination of feeling better and deciding she needs to try to feel better. Still apprehensive as things have swung so quickly in the past but certainly finally feel like we have some direction and progress.

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Good to hear.

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Originally Posted by J F T

Our 1 yr old lab is a godsend...when she is really crashing hard she is usually sitting quietly with him

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Thats for sure. Thats huge. Amazing the effect a dog can have. It changes brain chemistry.

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Originally Posted by J F T

Our 1 yr old lab is a godsend...when she is really crashing hard she is usually sitting quietly with him

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Yes, my friend has a daughter with some issues that has a dog that soothes her every time.

(I meant to like the post, but hit dislike by mistake)

good luck..

i had a teen stepdaughter that was plain evil verys ago but nothing like your situation.. God bless man..