Getting over an Ex GF or ending a relationship

Ive chatted with Diva about this recently and no matter how much time has passed and how in love I can see my ex now with her new BF i swear i think about her everyday still. A little back story, In august of last year i spent three months talking to a girl who grew up in the same church as me. She moved to NY to go to acting school and when we started talking it was about 3 months away from when she was moving back home to tampa.

We talked and texted EVERYDAY for 3 months and the day she drove back to tampa she met me. We couldnt stop smiling and laughing, needless to say the next two months we were inseperable. Im a very picky guy so when i date someone i take it serious and the specific type of girl isnt that common, and yes ive been called nuts before because i have such picky standards but whatever its how i am, I knew within 2-3 weeks i was going to marry this girl. Im 32 shes 23 and she had been married before, it was sort of a religous setup of a wedding so naturally it didnt last.

So after being together almost everyday for the 2.5 months of her being back she starts acting weird, now granted i was quite clingy because of how in love i was with her, but its almost like one day she changed her mind and didnt like me anymore. We stopped talking around new years and im serious when i say that i think about her almost everyday still. We had both told eachother we loved one another and we totally meant it. Her parents said i was the best guy shes ever dated and the list goes on and on.

The breakup after wards was pretty bad, i couldnt let go and started making fun of her and just being as mean as possible because of how sad she made me. That part of it was really uncharacteristic for me because im not like that.

I guess the reason i made this thread was just to ask you guys here, How in the hell do you move on from someone that you knew 100% no fucking doubt in your mind that she was the girl youre was supposed to marry?? Most of the women ive gotten advice from says thats what young 20 yr old girls do and that one day she'll realize the mistake she made. Im still dealing with a broken heart and boy does it still really suck.

-The good news is im no longer depressed over it. :D

No doubt about it, have been there a few times. Having been down that road, I learned a lot. It sucks and it hurts like hell. It feels helpless. I think I was totally devastated for a year over one chick. In college this chick dumped me for a frat boy on the tennis team and I was fucked up for a year then too. lol The worst thing about it, is it makes us do shit and say shit we would never do otherwise. Im embarrassed now about some of the stupid things I did to try to win a girl back lol

man i hate scenarios like this bc the truth of the matter is it does suck. however man you need to either identify or have identified what went south, otherwise your guessing about it is going to keep you hanging on to this much longer. my first rule of thumb is honesty, if something doesnt look or sound right im up front about it and call it out for what it is. dont have to be a dick, just aware of the situation.

since she has already moved on the only thing that would remotely benefit you is whatever contact you have with her is a positive one, be normal like nothing ever happened. people are with others that not only they like but can be happy around. if shes happy around your "normal" then that will benefit you.

shes young yes, but i believe 23 can be an age where people know what they want.

as far as it sucking, the sooner you accept the situation for what its worth and understand that theres other women out there just like her the sooner it will suck less, picky doesn't negate this point. its really a mental battle with yourself, one thats haunting and just hangs around. i would try whatever helps get your mind off it even if thats you telling yourself that you dont care until you forget why it is your telling yourself that. call it a mental brainwash. i am a big advocate of this method bc i dont like someone or something dictating the emotions in my life unless its pure joy. ive been in those mind boggling situations before, and its just not worth it. cuz when you find that next relationship whether its back with her or someone else your going to realize that all that time and emotion with countless thoughts did nothing to improve your quality of life, and things are fine now, so why waste it then? your quality of life is important.

don't want you to take this the wrong way but 2 and half months is not nearly enough time to really know someone. Now I do believe as we get older some know what they want sooner than when they were younger, and this may be you. With her being 23 its more unlikely. It is always great in the beginning. Besides all that, you are asking how to move on? You either wallow in the sadness or just go about what you were doing before you met her and it is very true and hard to hear but "if you 2 were meant to be, then you will be". As time goes on she will become more of a distant great memory for you. Just out of curiosity, what is it about her that makes you feel you knew 100% that she was the one? Time does heal this kind of broken heart. It is different for each person

All great points guys, we texted briefly about a month ago and we both said sorry how things ended and she also said shes very happy now. The reason it was a great match is because my family has known hers for about ten years. We all went to the same church, grew up strict christian and so we had alot in common and we knew of eachother for a long time before we met. She said she was in love with me back when she was 15 or so. Her parents were so awesome, we got along so well. her dad loved me as a guy and i respected her family alot. Losing out on a great relationship with her parents really bummed me out too.

Both of our families really liked eachother so that was even more of a sign that this was meant to be. At the end of the day i was alot more serious than her, she did give me three weeks of verbal notices to calm down but i just couldnt i liked her too much to chill. HUGE MISTAKE on my part because that ruined it, i couldve just been cool about it and we'd still be together, fuck i hate myself for that.

bro, I am like you as far as being picky. Not shallow picky, it's just rare for me that a girl does it for me. It's not about looks or her situation, it's just a gut feeling.
I know how you feel when you finally find a girl that makes you feel like that then have it not work out. It's discouraging to think about trying to find another girl like that.
Your just going to have to move on and if she comes around, she comes around.
I recently had a similar situation like this and a few months later I can't get some other girl off my mind...lol
Sorry bro and good luck, I know the feeling.

yep whitetail that's exactly right. It took me 6 or 7 years to find someone like that and then within a few months she's gone already. I forgot to mention that the sex was amazing she was 5 foot 2 and I could do whatever I wanted to her :-)

Just bang her mom or sister...that always helps me get over a chic, her best friend is always an option to.....
All jokes aside...you just have to give it time...time heals all wounds....and live life. Try to avoid any triggers of memories or her as much as you can. I know that's easier said then done. Hang in there.

Thanks guys for all of your opinions. The night i made this thread was tough i was all emo about it but since then i havent thought about her once.

Definetly being back in the gym has helped alot. I was out for seven weeks and ive started to do some modeling and that actually helps alot with my self esteem.

Bro, I'm right there with you. There have been 3 women in my life that I totally regret losing.

My most recent was my fiance from 2 years ago. I broke it off, along with the relationship , to marry a long time friend instead. Now the marriage, as all marriages, has it's ups and downs but I will always regret breaking up with my ex because she was a great women and didn't deserve that pain that I had put her through.

My other two were past girlfriends who left me. One in 1993 and the other on New Year's Eve morning of 2006 just as I returned home from work to go out to breakfast with her. Honestly bro, I never got over any of them. Fortunately, I have an ex from 2000 with whom I'm still friends. We still talk, despite my wife's request to end our friendship. I wish I could say something more supportive, bro, but I must admit that it still saddens me.

Men are emotionally weaker than women, I've learned. We can only get through this one day at a time.

all i can say is i have been their and it sucks,bad!!