Facts of Marriage
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The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on theTV?" I said,
"Dust!"
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In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and
rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
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My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state
troopers and a dog.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 5 drinks.
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A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said
"I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God,
I wish I had your willpower."
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Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two Mothers-in-law.
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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
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If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until
I got married; and then it was too late."
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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