Everybody Has Time for a Quickie
By Glenn Buechlein
For www.EliteFTS.com

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“Cuz you got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them…..”

Everyone has them, and some people cannot live without them. They run the gamut from “I got a bad back or creaky knees,” to “I read where the surgeon general has issued warnings about this stuff,” to “I’m waiting until I can afford a Bowflex.” Women also tend to whip out the old idea that they don’t want to get too big or muscular. However, lack of time has to be the most common response.

Yeah, I’m talking about excuses for not working out. I have developed my own unique techniques for avoiding the age old reasons for not training or exercising. My wife and I have been blessed with a 16-month-old girl who is the center of our universe. Most of my training and overall existence is planned around this human black hole that somehow sucks all our energy as we perilously try to avoid the event horizon. Having a basement gym is a godsend because it is always at my disposal, and it houses the washer and dryer.

This convenient set up is why so many of my quickie workouts revolve around folding laundry, especially the tiny variety. My dexterity has improved simply by manipulating the wardrobe of the diminutive diva that already possesses enough outfits to fully clothe the entire Lollipop Guild.

Glenn Fold Five

A favorite strategy I use is the “Glenn folds five” circuit. This is the cutting edge of strength training and is approved by both Dr. Spock and the good doctor Seuss. I feel almost dirty for divulging my secrets, though they are not of the ancient Chinese type. Here you go.

Simply do a load of laundry and then place the load in the dryer. When completed, randomly select garments and fold five of them. Next, stroll over to the power rack and do a set of ten wide grip pull-ups. Proceed back to the clothes and fold five more. Then do ten palms facing pull-ups. Repeat this until all clothes are folded or your lats are so fully pumped that when you walk you appear as though a strong head wind is holding you back. The workout could look as follows:

Fold 5

10 reps, wide grip chins

Fold 5

10 reps, palm facing chins

Fold 5

10 reps, under grip chins

Fold 5

10 reps baseball chins (Drill holes in two baseballs using a ½ drill bit and feed a rope through. Drape over the power rack and chin. Great for the grip.)

Fold 5

10 reps, v-handle chins

Fold 5

10 reps, towel chins (Place a towel that is rolled up over the bar and chin.)

Fold 5

The variety of chins is only limited by your imagination. I try to do anywhere between 70 and 100 total repetitions, but the reps are dependent upon the diva’s wardrobe changes and outside adventures.

For other quickies, I sometimes resort to games or toys. I like dice, playing cards, and even darts. All of these devices are good for spicing up the action. By quickie, I mean a workout lasting less than twenty minutes. A recent example would be band push-downs for triceps coupled with football bar curls using a palms facing grip similar to hammer curls.

Toss a dart at the board and whatever number you hit is the amount of push-downs and curls that must be completed. Repeat this ten times and that should suffice. Try the same thing with the deck of cards while focusing on kettlebells. For instance, shuffle the deck and turn over a card. If an eight of diamonds shows, then do eight kettlebell swings. All face cards count as ten reps. Continue to add cards as you improve. Start by turning over ten cards, then 15, and then 20. All sets are done with minimal breaks between sets. The rest period is usually around 30–60 seconds, about the time it takes to fold five!

Back when I was young and spry, I would do the whole deck of cards when doing dips. Now, my shoulder problems do not allow me to do a single dip, but I got plenty in when I could. Follow the same protocol with the dice. All these are done to break the monotony of training. If I had a dwarf, then I could toss him for distance and then do that many reps for each foot thrown. Sadly, I do not own a dwarf.

Some Favorite Quickies

666 (The Beast X 2)

Do six kettlebell swings with the right arm and then do six pull-ups. Do six swings with the left and then six pull-ups. Do six kettlebell swings with both and then six pull-ups. Repeat. I use a 72 lb or 88 lb kettlebell.

The Vest Is Best

I use a weighted vest from Elite Fitness with fifty pounds of weight. I ride the stationary bike for one minute at a fast pacing wearing the weighted vest. (If you don’t have a stationary bike, run in place for a minute or do jailbird squats.)

Next, do 20 push-ups with the vest on followed by ten pull-ups. Rest one minute and repeat. Do this 3–5 times.

Look Ma, I Can Count

For a good driving pump, do kettlebell tricep extensions on the Swiss ball immediately followed by fat bar curls. I use 53 lb kettlebells and a homemade fat bar that weighs around 65 lbs. If you don’t have any kettlebells, use dumbbells or simply do close grip push-ups. Start with six reps and then increase by increments of two until you reach 20. I recommend resting one minute if you don’t have a partner. If a partner is present, rest while they are performing their set.

Getting Harder by the Quarter

I use this when no one else is around. I consider this a light workout designed for high repetitions. I begin with 135 lbs of bar weight. That is the bar and a pair of 45s. I do ten reps, usually close grip. I then add a set of quarters and then do ten more reps. I do this until I cannot achieve ten reps or I fail and have to roll the bar down my body leaving a massive path of destruction and rawness caused by the middle knurling. A sample workout:

135 x 10

185 x 10

235 x 10

285 x 10

335 x 10

Normally, I would either stop or try 385 lbs for around 5–6 close grip. Seriously, I have had around 500 lbs stuck on me, and my mid-section looked as though General Sherman himself had trudged his army through. So I no longer push it. All these quickie workouts are usually done by my lonesome with no spotters present. Another variation is with dumbbells. I start with the 50s and do ten palms facing reps. I then do the 70s, 80s, 95s, and 120s for ten reps as well. The reps are performed with a medium tempo emphasizing form and a full ROM. The incremental jumps are solely based on the dumbbells I own.

Choose a Song That Ain’t too Long

I like to choose an exercise and then do it the entire length of a song. Favorites include dumbbell curls alternating every ten reps between regular curls and hammer curls. I generally use 35–40 lb dumbbells, and the song of choice lasts approximately 3–4 minutes. Kettlebells are also an excellent choice for the song quickie. I enjoy doing swings for an entire song or through the leg passes. One set of curls for a song followed by kettlebell swings for a song is enough work to feel as though you accomplished something. Be sure to alternate the swings from single arm to left and right to double.

You have probably noticed that my quickie workouts center on back training as well as arms. I personally believe that you can never get enough back training, and I only like doing arm training when I can just focus on that particular body part. I do triceps on bench day, but I normally choose movements that do not isolate and that most would regard as bench movements.

The quickie workouts were done almost daily this summer. Now I try to get in a few per week along with my main lifting days. I feel in much better overall condition, and my soreness has diminished due to these short but sweet workouts. Quickies also seem to lower my stress level, and they release my pent up frustrations much like the real thing.

Remember “the man who wants to do it finds a way; the man who doesn’t finds an excuse.”

Glenn “Apollo” Buechlein is a teacher in Indiana with a 700 lb plus bench press at 242 lbs. Best known as “Power B,” Glenn’s gym is in Washington, Indiana. His gym is perfect—steel, chalk, dogs, and pure mayhem.

Elite Fitness Systems strives to be a recognized leader in the strength training industry by providing the highest quality strength training products and services while providing the highest level of customer service in the industry. For the best training equipment, information, and accessories, visit us at www.EliteFTS.com.