TweetThe Big Rant
By Guttus Gumptous

I am usually an upbeat person and I love fitness/strength/conditioning and recently got involved in powerlifting since attending an EFS seminar. I have been brainwashed, though. By the very people who claim to be experts. This happened a few years ago and my training went down the shitter. Now that I actually follow you and Jim's advice and training material, I have actually made some (or perhaps a lot) of progress. Now in order to help those who are just learning in this business, I will give them a warning to avoid the self-styled gurus that have given a black eye to this industry.

Mr. Set ‘n Rep

Here is a genius who claims to have invented a set and rep scheme. This scheme consists of multiple sets of low repetitions and results in good gains in clients and athletes who were doing typical bodybuilding training in the past.

Wow, how original! This same multiple set, low rep scheme results in failure on the last set. Hmmm, does this sound like a set and rep scheme similar to the max effort method, a method that has been around for decades, or rather a century? This same author writes various articles about this set and rep scheme and posts them with slightly different writing, fancy scientific jargon (refuses to say chest size, but rather pectoral hypertrophy) and submits them as different articles with jazzy titles giving credit to his inventions!

Tommy Tempo

Here is a fellow who writes very articulately. One look at his articles and your mind starts to spin! Usually his workouts and schedules contain volumes and tonnages that would fray your tendons, fry your nervous system, and leave you bed ridden with clinical depression. This same smartass prescribes tempo prescriptions within tempo prescriptions. I am talking about different tempo prescriptions for different reps within a set! To summarize my opinion on this articulate, highly educated, and nevertheless well built nerd, I should state that one look at his articles will leave you not wanting to train at all!

King Shit

And then there is the king shit of all strength coaches...ummm, I mean the world! This man is the strength coach's strength coach's strength coach's strength coach! Like number 2, this fellow is highly educated, well written and spoken, though nevertheless insanely arrogant! I am talking a sense of insane arrogance that is truly unique to the common person. What this man says, is the way to train! You cannot question him!

Although he was the king shit at a certain website for years, he took a bit of a layoff from writing but now has made a comeback for more ass kissing from his disciples and colleagues! For some reason, this man's claim to fame is training athletes from less popular sports who never engaged in strength work, improving their performance, and then claiming that he is the king shit of the athletic training world. For some reason, his more popular and sometimes professional athletes have a tendency to get injured or worked into the ground, with athletic trainers wanting to hunt him down thereafter.

This guy also states who should weight train and who should not, claiming that there are some hopeless geeks in this world who should not bother picking up a weight. Well, thank you, King Shit! Nearly the entire weight training world was skinny before they started training who then decided they would see if they were meant (as if anyone was meant for powerlifting) for strength sports or not for themselves!

This man also likes to credit himself for various systems...uh...I mean "inventions" that somehow were invented long ago (therefore making them not inventions in reality)...brushing them up in a fancy form on paper and then giving these systems/inventions nice jazzy names. Furthermore, this arrogant nutcase claims once every six months or so that he will be coming out with a new product with a colleague of his but somehow it never comes through, leaving his disciples completely disappointed and in tears. I must give credit to this man for his money making skills, but that’s about it. In conclusion, like the other highly educated nut, this man's routines do a good job in leaving one confused, bored as hell while training, and needing much bed rest. Once again, if you do not listen to this man, you do not know how to train.

The Confuser

There is also a savvy businessman who used to write for a popular strength training website with the rest of the aforementioned nerds and goons, but for some reason, his articles have gone to the wayside. Like the rest of them, this person's inability to tone down scientific jargon when dealing with the layperson, some of whom are not older than 16 years old and did not take an anatomy and physiology course, can be written off as sheer pedantic arrogance. Also, like the rest, he is well built, but his articles nevertheless leave one nauseated and disgusted.

I am so sorry for this perhaps cowardly rant behind an alias but I just could not help myself and cannot give my real name for professional reasons (I will be involved in the healthcare field soon after academic responsibilities and have aspirations of strength and conditioning in conjunction with this). But again, I just could not help myself because now that I have actually attained results by:

Eating
Resting
Using my head
Doing something really original for muscle gains (This consists of actually entering a gym and lifting a damn weight for whatever set and rep scheme that suits my fancy with NO tempo prescriptions)
Shit-canning all of the useless crap that these aforementioned writers put forth! It is very odd that for years, I followed an Arnold-style goofball routine and grew like mad only to have gains come to a damn halt and training becoming an unbearable experience after I started to follow these jackasses' writings and speeches. Again, couldn't help myself!

TweetMr. TryIT Each months as he reads the new issue Muscle magazine he comes up with a new workout program or diet. The last 11 he tried just didn't work and his year long subscription is almost up.