Tweetlove that..
TweetWhen girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy...it's pretty **** smart.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b.i.t.c.h knows I'm smarter than her.
Tweetlove that..
Tweethahaha thats awesome
Tweetheard that before...good one!!!
HE WHO MAKES A BEAST OF HIMSELF, GET'S RID OF THE PAIN OF BEING A MAN!!
https://www.infinitymuscle.com/forum.php
"Actually for once your actually starting sound quite logical!"-djdiggler 07/10/2007
I LOVE BOOBOOKITTY...
Tweetdude i just posted it. didn't even see your post. lmao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC_xkBV7eLg
"Man is a pupil, pain is his teacher" --Alfred de Musset
Tweetomg...i have to do this to my girl... sounds exactly like my girl..
HERE I COME MISSYYYY
TweetI have got to remember that one.
Tweetnice..!
Tough times go away, Tough people do not!!
If you don't Live for something, you'll die for nothing
(James Shanahan, HATEBREED)
Tweetyes, I can relate to that...i had this one gf who was such a freak in the sack that I was addicted to screwing her...I only saw her when I drove up to see her on weekends and I would be thinking how bad i wanted her all week...then I would get there and she would say 'Lets go out to dinner first"...arrrgghhh!!!!...Oh I hate d that!!!
TweetIf men were the ones who got pregnant, I would still be a virgin!! I was in the delivery room for both my kids. I remember saying to myself "No phuquing way I'd do that!!!"
“I don't look ahead... I keep focused on my next opponent. I am looking forward to my next opponent, I don't think past that point.”
--Manny Pacquiao
Big Mike's speach to Congress telling them to phuque off on the steroid ban:
https://www.moviewavs.com/0049230534/...y/statemnt.mp3
Fitnessgeared's resident Smart ass
Tweetlmao!! that is some funny shyt!
TweetOMG... OMG... OMG... I freakin' loved that!!!!
merc is my hero
"Life is comprised of the choices we make everyday." I was told this by someone I respect today... Very true...