An integrated solution....

My mailbox is being flooded with mail concerning the price of gas and illegal immigrants.

The problem is to boycott the oil companies or not and to provide amnesty to illegal immigrants or not, etc, etc.

Since I have become jaded to the various solutions proposed by the Republicans, Democrats, Sierra Club, ACLU, and so on; I have elected to resolve the problems as
they directly affect me.

Careful thinking resolves both the gas and the illegal immigrant problems.

I hire illegal immigrants to push my car around the city. They're plentiful and cheaper than buying gas.
Then I pay them in Mexican Pesos so they have to go home to spend it.

DON'T YOU LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER?