TweetIt sounds like your looking for a relationship that has stability, honesty and the possibility for a family. These all sound like good things to want. The fact that you don't currently have these things and are not destined to get them with a woman you've committed a lot of time and emotional energy to sounds like reasonable grounds for melancholia.

I think you are describing a normal set of emotional responses. HOWEVER, if you keep wasting your time on this relationship I think you will be getting into a dangerous area. Good luck!