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Originally Posted by cowgirl

I judge people every day.

My friend confided in me she was cheating on her husband. I judged her to be a liar. and I don't want to be around liars, because if they lie to someone else (her husband), what's to keep her from lying to me?

A guy starts up a conversation with me. He is unkept & his language skills are lacking. He may be a nice guy, but I judge that he & I have different values and pass on an invite from dinner with him.

An old friend stops by for a visit. We haven't seen each other in years. After dinner we have some wine. She asks if she can light a joint. "You have some with you?" I ask. She says that's what brought her through my town. She says she is bringing a couple of pounds to a friend on the other side of the state. I judge that there is way too much pot in my house & ask her to hit the road. I judge that I don't want to be involved in her lifestyle.

We are supposed to judge. If we don't, what tells us if someone is of the same moral & ethical character as we need to be around?

Who ever said we shouldn't judge? It sure as heck isn't in the bible! It never says "Thou shalt not judge" like so many people like to misquote.

It does say: The way you Judge is the way you will be Judged. I use it to keep me from going "tisk, tisk" to someone elses bad behavior, when I'm guilty of the same indescretions. It's a great way of keeping your house in order & from becoming a hypocrite.

Awesome post!

TweetCowGirl is 100% correct. Thats the way I look at it.

Tweetwell i'll be the dick then.....the 2nd 2 i agree with ya.....maybe at times judging is important....but your first one is the exact type of thing i was refering to....now i don't know of the situation....and i don't know what made her unfaithful so there is a chance i might put my foot in my mouth here but hey it won't be the first or last time....there are many reasons that people cheat....none make it ok to do so, but everyone who cheats should not be looked at the same....if this lady was neglected...abused or whatever she should not be judged the same way as if she was jus wanting a new guy....if she had a marriage problem and thats why she cheated and then she confined in you....and u do that...well i don't think turning your back on a friend is anything to be proud of or applauded for

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Originally Posted by edvedr

well i'll be the dick then.....the 2nd 2 i agree with ya.....maybe at times judging is important....but your first one is the exact type of thing i was refering to....now i don't know of the situation....and i don't know what made her unfaithful so there is a chance i might put my foot in my mouth here but hey it won't be the first or last time....there are many reasons that people cheat....none make it ok to do so, but everyone who cheats should not be looked at the same....if this lady was neglected...abused or whatever she should not be judged the same way as if she was jus wanting a new guy....if she had a marriage problem and thats why she cheated and then she confined in you....and u do that...well i don't think turning your back on a friend is anything to be proud of or applauded for

Rationalizing bad behavior is just a way to try to not be responsible for doing something that is wrong.

There is no excuses for doing the wrong thing. It's just doing the right thing is harder & it takes more courage, character & backbone.

Turning my back on someone who doesn't want to make hard choices is absolutly the smartest thing a person SHOULD do. If you don't get clear of these sorts of people you will end up surrounded by low lifes. The people you choose to assosiate with is a reflection of you.

This thing of being loyal to someone who is clearly on the wrong path is a bunch of left wing "love everyone" mentality that is sinking this country. If you really were a friend to someone who was doing wrong, the best thing you could do for them is tell them they are a lying, cheating, backstabbing homewrecker & that you want no part of their misguided life. But once they see the error of their ways, you will be standing there waiting for them.

I don't believe in supporting someone who is wrong.

Tweetwow thats pretty cold stuff there cowgirl.....tell me is this the way you feel kids should be delt with too

Tweetand i never said you shouldn't tell them what they are doing is wrong....but i don't think you should shut the person out of your life....she obviously confided in u for a reason

Tweetand also we are not kids anymore....who i hang out with you say reflect on me...oh really and who am i reflecting to....i could care less if someone thinks less of me cause of who i associate with....maybe you care a little too much of what others think

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Originally Posted by edvedr

wow thats pretty cold stuff there cowgirl.....tell me is this the way you feel kids should be delt with too

huh?what?

where the heck is all your anger & hostility coming from? You are acting like I'm attacking you. What is that statement "we are not kids anymore"? I'm a 45 year old woman & this is how I talk to adults. Your replys to me are not very adult like. I thought we were having an exchange of Ideas. If this is going to turn into an angry bash fest, I'll post where people are behaving civil. If for some reason my post seemed unduly harsh or like it was directed at you, I'm sorry. I was just expressing my ideas & opinions in genral not my ideas & opinions of "edvedr"

Tweeti'm sorry....i did not mean to attack you....i just got a little excited when you gave that as an example because that is the exactly what i have been talking about....i was kinda bringin emotion from other conversations into one with you and i should not have done that....so i hope you don't "judge" me based on this....lol the last part was a little joke

Tweet ok were buddies again

Tweetalso i was not angry or hostile when i was posting just excited about the subject cause i have a strong opinion....i always seem to come across as angry on the boards when i'm discussing or debating things...i don't mean to do that