TweetJohn Kerry is visiting a primary school and stops in one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks Sen. Kerry if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy." So he asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."

One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.

"No," says Kerry," that would be an accident."

A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the Senator. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.

Sen. Kerry searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a plane carrying Sen. Kerry were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaims Kerry, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as heck wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

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Clocks In Heaven

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's John Kerry's clock?" asked the man.

"Kerry's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

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