Anyone else have body image issues?

Mine comes from I was a fat kid till about 14.

I had decent mass underneath but at 14 I was already my current heigth(5'10") and about 200lbs with a 36' waist.

No Hog but at 14 thats too big.

I'm currently running my 5th cycle and while I look pretty decent at 5'10' 220 I'm approaching 34" waist pants again because I am supposed to be bulking!

Everytime that 34" pants thing comes up I notice I start cutting carbs and start really eating clean.

Because of this I doubt I have ever had a really good bulk cycle!
I can't help myself either!

I know enough that at the end of my cycles I usually add 10-15 lbs of LM and probably drop 2-3% BF. Which is certainly nothing to complain about. I just wonder with my genetic potenial how much LM I could add over 16-20 wks if I could get over the your starting to get fat issue?

I know I have the ability to get to be a fairly good size, hell I'm 220 now. Half way through every bulk I start compromising Cals and growth for some strange head game.

Anyone else have ingrained ideas that slows their true potenial?

I really think I could still after 4 complete cycles add 30+ pounds if I would eat more!

All well WTF, I'm still making decent progress--just not as much as I could.

I see Bro's here that seem to have the opposite problem. No matter how big they get its not big enough. Does this sometimes also mean no matter what the BF is?
I'm just really curious.
Thanks, DJ