TweetNews Anchor Dan Rather, The Reverend Jesse Jackson, NPR Reporter Cokie
Roberts, and an American Marine were hiking through the jungle one day
when they were captured by cannibals. They were tied up, led to the
village and brought before the chief. The chief said, "I am familiar
with
your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we
kill
and eat you, do you have any last requests?

" Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of
hot, spicy chili." The chief nodded to an underling, who left and
returned
with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of
is
my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to
sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time." The chief said, "Go right
ahead,
we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die
in
peace."

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape
recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe
someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job til the
end."
The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts
dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy.

" The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what is your final
wish?" "Kick me in the ass," said the Marine. "What?" said the chief.
"Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No, I'm not kidding. I want you
to
kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine. So the chief shoved him into
the
open, and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled
to
his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from his waistband, and shot the chief
dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out
his
M4 carbine, and sprayed the cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the
cannibals were dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him, "Why didn't you
just
shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"

"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you assholes call ME the
aggressor?!?"






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