well it all started when we met. by met i mean she finally realized i was stalking her. she noticed i was picking flowers near her house. by picking flowers i mean staring in her window, by near her house i mean on a ladder outside the bathrom. instead of pressing charges (again) she decided to use her newly gotten leverage to have me asist her in the realization of a life long dream. she said she always wanted a pet tiger. now this didnt seem like the best idea, but i was at her mercy , for one she could send me to jail , and for two her bath robe was all wet and clingy . so to be honest im not sure exactly what i agreed to.

so , about 45 minutes later we arrived at the gated entrance of the zoo. she had gotten fully dressed so my distraction wore aff and nervousness set in. she promised she would honk if anyone came up and told me she would help if it werent for a knee injury she got in the war. and by war she meant club.

so a few minutes later i was bleeding and hobbling toward the gate , i told her that one can of purina wouldnt be enough. that cat leash snapped in half instantly. so as i was doubling back for more suggestions i noticed her car was gone. she stood me up, after all we had been through togethor. what a date , what a woman